I met my partner over two years ago and everything was great at first, I loved him so much and I still do. My two boys loved him too and he was great with them. I knew he did coke occasionally but never thought it was a problem or he would choose it over me, I was wrong. He hasn’t got any children of his own but really wanted them and he promised me if I got pregnant he would stop the coke. I found out I was pregnant on Boxing Day 2018, I thought everything was gonna be great and we were gonna be a proper family now but I was wrong he lied to me he wouldn’t stop the coke, if anything it got worse. I knew I couldn’t have a baby with someone who did drugs, a baby was all he wanted I couldn’t believe he wouldn’t stop. I got a termination, first attempt failed so had to have another at 14 week, it wasn’t an easy decision and I have a lot of guilt about what I did. I think about it a lot and wish things were different and I could of kept my baby. Since my termination in March things have got a lot worse now. About 4 months ago I found out he’s been buying methadone off the street, I tried to help him with that. I took him to get help and get his own prescription for the methadone rather than buy it off the street. More recently the last couple of months I’ve found out he’s been smoking and injecting herion only occasionally, but the coke has got a lot more frequent, he’s been going a gram a day for the past week. I’ve ended it with him now I’m sick of always coming second to drugs and also sick of all the lies, there was a lot of them. I love him so much and it really hurts that me or his own baby wasn’t enough to make him change. I can’t trust him at all because of all the lies about the drugs, I don’t know who he is anymore.