He's had a crush on me for 5 years. Should I give him a chance?

[OhNo00]

There's a guy I have known for a few years who has had a thing for me for a long time (around 5 years). I know because I heard whispers from his friends and he finally admitted it to me a couple years ago. He's never overstepped the mark because I had a boyfriend and was never inappropriate.

I was in a relationship for all of that time but it finished recently. I've never felt anything more than friendship towards this guy. He's had a couple of girlfriends during the period I was in a relationship but his friend told me he's always had a soft spot for me.

I'm very flattered but I'm not sure what to do at this point. I'm single for the first time since I've known him and I saw his eyes lit up when he found out even though he was sympathetic. I kinda thought it was the sweetest thing.

He's not my type of guy but I am tempted to give him a chance. I'm very worried about leading him on and breaking his heart though as there's definitely an imbalance of feelings there. He's a nice guy and the last thing I want to do is hurt him.

Should I give him a chance and see where it takes us?

If you date him, it may kill his crush when he realises you're not as fabulous as he thought, after spending 5 years lusting after you. I'm not saying you're not fabulous, just that he probably has an idealised view of what you're like, and the reality might not measure up.

I'm getting a real mixed bag of responses here, from go for it to I'm cruel for considering it.

Still undecided! Think I'm going to have to have a good think about it over the next few days.

Thanks for the response.

@FavouriteSong very good point. I'm sure there's a fair chance that might happen. I am wondering whether I'd live up to his expectations.

Perhaps see whether he actually asks you out first. You are thinking about something that might not ever happen.

I would give him a chance.

One of my friends had a soft spot for another since we met at uni aged 18 years, but it never amounted to anything - she said she never thought of him as boyfriend material, They both found themselves single about 15 years ago in their late 30s, got together and have now been very happily married for over 10 years.

You owe him nothing. Hes not a charity case. Please don't date him because you feel bad hes fancied you ages.
Thats an annoying thing about a breakup. All the men ready to pounce that you thought were friends

I think the fact that you are asking here means you have some interest/curious about him. I would go in a date and see what happens. I would take a chance if it were me

I think it would be quite cruel to lead him on just because you’re now at a loose end. If you don’t feel anything for him you should leave him alone.