Me and my ex were together nearly 8 years but decided to call it quits for a number of reasons. Long story short we didn't seem to be on the same page when it came to marriage, kids, the future etc and he seemed to be very scared of any sort of proper commitment so we sort of just decided to go our separate ways. Was a very hard thing to do because there wasn't anything dramatic that happened and we both cared for eachother but was a mutual decision.
When we separated I knew he was struggling with his mood a bit and what I think it's depression. I persuaded him to see a counsellor but he packed that in saying it didn't help. I was sort of hoping that the separation would give him a new lease of life and give him the determination to get some help and get his life back on track.
Well, it's been 3 months since we separated and that hasn't seemed to have happened. I still message him every so often to see how he is because I am worried about him. The response is always that he's not doing great. I want to be there for him but at the same time it's playing with my mental health a little bit as I feel like I'm never going to get over him if we have this persistent contact. I have this weird fear of me cutting our conversation and him harming himself. I'd never forgive myself. He hasn't showed any signs of doing something like that but I keep hearing these horrible stories of men turning to harm and not telling a soul that they feel like that.
I really feel he is clinically depressed but he refuses to go to a doctor.
What do I do?