I think my marriage is over

[NeverGotMyPuppy]

I'm just so sad. I feel like I've tried so hard. But we cant seem to be together for more than a day without arguing. He is impossible to live with. When it's good it's great but when it's bad it chips away at my faith and I feel like we have had too many chips.

He has agreed to go to a counsellor but I feel like it might be too late.

I'm sad and terrified and feel so bad for our wonderful year old son. This is a nightmare.and he didnt choose it.

Gosh no apologies needed - I'm sorry you are in the same boat. Glad you have found a semi solution.

I have often said I feel like I'm on trial all the time. I wish I had CCTV
My ex did this at the end. Once I actually wrote out the conversation we had had like a script, to try to show him how he was "misremembering" what I'd said. I felt like I was going mad sometimes - would spend hours trying to remember things and find "proof".

Give the counselling a go, but make sure to protect your own mental health, by avoiding him if necessary.

Bollox do all men hate criticism, any more than any person hates criticism.

No-one likes to be told they're doing wrong.

However, if any criticism is turned around and seen as something that can't be uttered. As something that can't be said.

That's abuse.

If you're scared to criticise and feel umable to articulate.

That's abuse.

A person should be able to say exactly what they feel.

If you can't, if you can't say exactly what you feel, and why you feel it.

There's something skewiff in the relationship.

A power imbalance.

That's abuse.

It sounds like your interactions are frustrating and unproductive but I don't know that they sound particularly unbalanced. It sounds like he could say 'she constantly criticises me and I can't do anything right' and you could say 'he goes off on one whenever I point out an issue'. Maybe it's something that can be working on in counselling - tryong to improve your joint communication styles. Maybe you can bite your toungue at times even when you see things that you think should be addressed, and he can learn to acknowledge your input appropriately with being overly defensive and turning things back on you. I think it is key to work out - do you feel like equal players in this or is their a power imbalance? If you feel you're equal players but communicating badly and both keen to do better perhaps counselling is a good way forward.

My marriage was like this. We separated. I felt like I was living under a dark cloud. I still struggle with anger as I could never communicate my feelings to him without being punished.

I think you need to listen to your got instinct- is something off about these arguments? Do you have physical symptoms of anxiety?

I have had anxiety before but I don't THINK it's because of him.