Is it wrong to ask my husband to move out?

[SweetcornFritter]

We agreed to separate a year ago but also agreed that we would carry on living in the same house until DS goes off to University which is in two years time. He spends alot of time abroad but comes home every two or three weeks, and has said that he hates the idea of moving out as he would never see our DS (which is odd, as I obviously would not stand in the way of him seeing him whenever he wanted). To make matters more puzzling when he does come back from one of his long trips he then takes himself off at the weekend to visit friends out of town leaving his poor DS to go to the football match on his own, which was one of the reasons cited for coming back regularly- to spend time with him.

I feel unsettled and unhappy when husband is around though on the surface we get on ok. I just want a clean break now and am fed up at the thought of two more years of this. He could easily afford to rent a flat or set up a base abroad and come back and stay in a hotel or b&b whenever he wanted to see his son. Ideally I would like to stay in the family home until son has finished school. Am I being unreasonable to want husband to move out before that happens?

YANBU. Cushy number for him, this current set up.

It's his house, too. Your ideal is yours alone. You two need to sell the house and split the proceeds if you want a 'clean break'. See a solicitor and apply to divorce him. Why should he have to go to a hotel or AirB&B because you fancy staying in the house?

Op gets to stay in the house because she’s the primary parent and the Dc’s need a secure home. ExH is just using it as a drop in hostel when it suits and not even pretending to give a shit about the DS.

She doesn't need to stay in the house any more than he does. The 'child' is well into teen years and the courts see 'secure home' as any place that's not some squat, basically. She applies to divorce and the court will move for 'clean break' as they do in a majority of cases and they'll need to sell the house anyway if one cannot buy the other out.

I fail to understand why you are waiting for your son to leave for uni until you get divorced. Your husband is never there anyway and you already consider yourselves as separated. Just get it over with.

@Aquamarine, we had decided we wanted to minimise disruption to our son’s life during his sixth form years by not going through a divorce, putting the only home he has ever lived in on the market, etc. In principle that still seems the sensible option , in practice it’s not so easy to live in this state of limbo which is how it feels. Thanks for your reply.