Paid for counselling following rape

[Griven]

Apologies if this is wrong place to post.

Friend was raped 3 years ago by ex DH. Doesn't want to report but feels time right to seek counselling. Rape Crisis do this but very long waiting list and she is fortunate in that she has money to pay.

Problem is she can't find a counsellor who specialises in rape or sexula asault. Checked on Bristish association of counsellors (?) site to find someone but they don't seem to exist apart from those that claim to specialise in every imaginable trauma possible which didnt make them seem credible.

She asked her GP who gave a list of voluntary organisations who all have long waiting lists for counselling.

How can I help her find a suitable private counsellor?

I don’t have much experience but I would assume most trained counsellors are trained to deal with a range of different trauma. This is presumably the primary reason most people seek counselling.

I would imagine most of the rape crisis counsellors will be in private practice. Is it worth contacting them and asking if they can suggest anyone locally?

In my area (going through something similar) there are a couple of services you can self refer to that offer counselling or support services. Here they are called things like women's clinic, well woman centre or even services through domestic violence charities.

Any counsellor who advertises as experienced with PTSD will have the skill-set to deal with rape also x

There are plenty of counsellors who deal with rape victims, amongst other things. Tell her to keep looking until she finds one that is suitable. I'm so sorry she has been through such an awful experience, it certainly is scarring and counselling will help her.

You could contact the bacp accredited counsellors and ask them if they are trained/experienced in this area. If not they may be able to suggest someone else locally.
You could ask rape crisis for recommendations or if any of their counsellors have a private practice.
You could ask your friend if she would like you to phone round for her to ask so she doesn't have to or if she'd prefer to phone herself.

Can I suggest www.psychotherapy.org.uk/find-a-therapist/
A UKCP registered psychotherapist has to have passed very rigorous & strict training requirements as well as high level of experience of clinical work before becoming registered. Any well trained psychotherapist should be able to support your friend with all the emotions and trauma associated with this. Although some are further trained in trauma work, such as EMDR. My advice would be to call a few and preferably meet with a few before deciding who she feels most comfortable with. The therapist should also be open during the initial meeting about whether they feel they are the right fit for the work ahead.

Some very helpful posts. Will make soem enqiries next week.

Trying to save her more trauma by finding counsellor for her but as boringisasboringdoes said I could ask friend if she wants me to do this. Could finding her own counsellor could be part of the healing process? Or will that be too much and she'll pack it away again?

Actually what you could do is look around for a shortlist and she could then see who she wants to go with.

Look for someone with years of experience - NOT a fancy website. If the website looks bad, don't rule the person out, they may be someone who spends more time with clients than updating their website...

Look for EMDR training to or trauma-informed CBT. Those are key trauma therapies. If you ask on her behalf you could ask how long ago they qualified, how long the training was, where it was at (then you can check their accreditation if you like). They are kind of awkward questions to ask if you're the one seeking therapy, but I imagine easier if you're doing it for a friend. You can also ask if they have supervision or intervision (this is a method of professional peer support).

In the U.K. anybody can call themselves a counsellor or therapist. You want someone who hasn't just done some weekend courses and then started a practice.

Also agree contacting WA or RC and asking if any of their therapists have private practices.

It's not the healing process to find someone yourself. If it was on the NHS she'd be referred and have no choice.

It's more that the person has to want to go and be committed to doing it. The therapist helps but the client has to do the work, therapist can't do it for them (sadly!).

What's absolutely crucial for her though is that she feels a connection with the therapist. This is important in any method that is used. I'd say to give it three sessions to know. The first session is often history taking and sometimes the second. By the third it's clearer what's going on, or if you don't like the therapist. She should not feel obliged to continue with someone she's not comfortable with as this will undermine being there is the first place.

If she could have a couple of options to choose from that'd be great.

kristallen advice much appreciated.