Hi
Finding this hard to put into words,
It’s a hybrid being AIBU and wtf do I do- if anything.
Background: lesbian relationship for 8 years.
We have kids.
Trust each other and are both very open- minded. I’m not usually a jealous person and am quite used to the fact she gets a LOT of male attention. I find it quite a turn on too the majority of the time.
Except now (and I know I’m probably sounding like a hypocrite)
She has a married man who is definitely on his way to falling for her. She runs a lot, and she met him at her running club.
They do run together a fair bit, I’m not naive I mean when she first told me how keen he was to run just him and her I realised he might fancy her or something.
Anyway I know she likes him as a friend and I’d never be the sort of person to demand she doesn’t see him, and I didn’t even mind when he started sending the odd flirty message to her (she shows me their convos).
But it has now turned into quite intimate messages -
He signs most of his messages off with a winky face.
Last week he said “I hope you brushed the cake crumbs off your lips before you went home”
Constantly making references to their little thing of him making her cakes or cookies once a week for after their run.
On his wedding anniversary the other week, he messaged my partner saying he’d better show his face at home but he’d be meeting (partner) with cookies when he could. His wife’s mum had just died too.
Message from today “just a heads up- I am home alone for 4 days next week so if you can get a free pass you can book some sessions in with me 
“
The innuendos and intimate references are now driving me mad.
I really REALLY didn’t mind the flirting at first but it’s gone to a level that’s making me uncomfortable.
She tends to either ignore the flirty comments or replies to them but not in a way to lead him on.
I feel like if I was a man I wouldn’t be putting up with it.
But I’m expected to just sit back and watch this play out.
It’s not the fact that I’m worried she’s going to cheat, I’m finding the lack of respect from his part hard to deal with.
She likes his friendship and gets on better with men generally, and when they are face to face he isn’t as obvious.
Do you think the message from today- specifically mentioning being home alone - was a testing the water kind of thing to see if she would take the bait?
Don’t know what to do. If anything . 