Pregnant/working/wife/mother, struggling to find a balance

[Mumof2luvies]

So Today (Friday) OH had full rage cos I didn't cook dinner coming home at about 22:20.
I worked a 12hour shift on Wednesday night.
Thursday morning I got home was on the phone with the physiotherapist who told me to come in but I said I was in too much pain to even walk then transferred me to the doctor who called me again to 'listen' to my desperate cry for painkillers to help with pelvic girdle pain in pregnancy. The doctor said he can't give anything (except a sick note) but I continue with paracetamol.
So I am 17weeks pregnant suffering from pelvic girdle pain, back from a backbreaking 12hour night shift where you are not allowed to sleep even on your break (referred to as gross misconduct). Getting home I look after my 20 month old son who barely let me sleep and kept hitting my head with books and showing me letters, numbers, shapes, colours which are his recent obsession. I look after him till 5pm when Dad and 3 year old girl returned home. Made and ate dinner then went to rest at about 5:45pm.
Couldn't sleep, but just rested in bed till 7:10 when I got ready for another backbreaking 12 hour shift on Thursday night. Came home Friday morning. Looked after son till about 11:45am when Dad came home with 3year old. Slept till Dad left about 1pm. Woke up to look after 3year old and 20month old. 3 year old finally slept at 5ish in the evening. Made pancakes, fed 20month old. Woke 3 year old to eat. Then they both slept at 7pm. Finally I made my bed and slept off as was too tired, physically exhausted, sleep deprived to do anything.
Normally I order take out, but I am too broke to do that as I had just booked a holiday for my husband and I for December- my treat.
Am I just looking for excuses or did I really have to "kill" myself to make sure there had to be dinner tonight??

What was he doing all this time? Does he ever make/buy you meals, cook, take both kids so you can sleep, etc.? You need to put yourself and your baby first, and so does he.

I feel you completely.

I don’t work night shift, but I’m 24+ weeks pregnant and worked all day yesterday after having no sleep due to my partner snoring.

He’s off work this week, I wondered if he would cook dinner for when I got home.... no, he didn’t. So at 7.30pm I texted him saying I wasn’t cooking.

I was pissed that he didn’t cook.

He would have seen my rage if he complained about not having dinner.

The pelvic pain is awful. I’ve had it so bad that it wakes me up and has me crying.

Fortunately, I have strong painkillers. Your doctor is useless. I am prescribed panadeine forte from my GP. I’ve also seen a specialist to review all my medication and I’m still ok to take that.

I hope you get some sleep soon

Where the fuck do you find these awful excuses for men? Do you think they pictured themselves being entitled, empathy devoid fucktards when they were young? When you decided to have children did they give you any pre-warning that they don't give a single shit about you? You're growing his child and working back breaking shifts, what the fuck is wrong with him??
He should be ensuring the mother of his child is as well rested as possible. He should see you doing what you do on next to no sleep and serenading you. I honestly would leave him if I were you, and I don't say that lightly. If he says he loves you he's lying, you don't treat people you love like that, if you see them suffering you do everything you can to help them.
These posts make me so mad. Message me your address and as you're - understandably - too tired to rage at him I will do it for you.

Please feel free to show him my last post.

But you can’t work nights and all random shifts and do childcare during the day. It’s just fundamentally unsustainable, pregnant or not, unreasonable dh or not. Together you need to sit down and figure out a working pattern and childcare arrangement that works for you. It could be that you need to change your shifts. It could be that you need to be able to afford/ask for help from family for daytime childcare so you can get at least a full 6 hours of sleep each day. Your dh most certainly needs to carry more of the weight of cooking, cleaning, supporting you while you work.

I worked full time with a 3 hour commute (6 hours total travel 3 days a week) when I was pregnant with my 2nd. I managed because my dh carried the load at home when I worked long days and because we paid for childcare. Together you need to figure out what you can afford to do and how to arrange life so that you can manage.