How to talk about autistic people

[Scautish]

There are many, many threads on MN where either autistic adults are discussed in an inaccurate manner, or horrible/abusive behaviour is attributed to autism, often the now-defunct Asperger's Syndrome.

In the relationships section, it is particularly common. This is hurtful and damaging to autistic people.

The charity Autistica has recently brought out guidelines for journalists and other media content producers and I thought it might be helpful, particularly for @MNHQ who continue to allow threads which discuss autism in

the link is here, but here is an excerpt.

Talking sensitively, accurately and positively about autism in the media is crucial. Many autistic people tell us that autism is part of who they are. They want society to be aware of both the challenges and strengths associated with autism, and accept and embrace difference. This guide aims to help journalists use the right language and understand the needs of autistic interviewees.

Talking about autism
Autism is a lifelong developmental condition which changes the way people communicate and experience the world around them. Some autistic people are able to learn, live and work independently but many have learning difficulties or co-occurring health problems that require specialist support.

Getting language right
In a recent consultation, the majority of autistic people preferred the term 'autistic’. For example: ‘he is autistic’ or ‘autistic adult’. Do not use the noun e.g. ‘an autistic’.
Parents generally prefer ‘on the autism spectrum’.
Avoid the terms ‘Aspergers’ or ‘Aspie’ - these are no longer given as a diagnosis.
Use of the word 'condition' is ok, and in the right context ‘disability’, but ‘disease’ or ‘disorder’ should be avoided.
Don’t use ‘mild/severe autism’ or ‘high/low functioning’, instead say ‘autistic' or autistic and has a learning disability’
Say that someone speaks few or no words, it's preferred over the term ‘non-verbal’
Don’t use negative language like ‘suffering from’ or ‘paralysed by autism’. It may be appropriate to use this language when talking about other difficulties such as ‘struggling with anxiety’.
Do talk about autistic people's strengths.
Talk about how research can improve lives, not fix problems.

So after a quick google the wording is

Symptoms cause clinically significant impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of current functioning.

I would say clinically significant impairment is disability.

I suppose many people learn different coping mechanisms etc ds4 was certainly more disabled by has autism when he was very young compared to now that he is a little older and has his own ways around things. Who knows how he will feel about it when he's an adult. He may not feel it's a disability at all, after all he will have been living and working around asd all his life

I think that sometimes the traits of autism and the traits of someone possibly abusive CAN superficially look quite similar. And I say that as both an autistic person and the partner of another autistic person.

Its understanding whats happening underneath and driving the behaviour, and the response to pointing out the behaviour that will probably make a start on differentiating it, hence the fact that we often see the questions asked on this board

Of course there can be a crossover, and especially with older people, when they may have been high functioning enough to have got by in the past, before Aspergers / Hig functioning was even a clinical diagnosis - the trauma of having struggled through life and the behavioural self survival methods may well have been all that kept them in control - an ASD / personality disorder crossover is fairly common with those who are undiagnosed, or have had generations of dysfuntion, possibly also due to ASD happen.

I dont think its also possible to 'always talk positively' about autism. It affects different people in different ways and those around or those with it can often feel that its a bloody pain in the arse. My partner and my daughter would both much rather they didnt have to deal with the anxiety nor the problems that it brings, myself much less so, but I can see that I would be really tricksy to live with, and have been quite controlling in the past without actually realising it.
I can also see the good stuff. But for many, especially those who are caring for non verbal/ learning difficulty / really badly affected individuals, I think this 'happy shiny, positive only' view can be really unhelpful, because it minimises the difficulties bot they and the person have.