Family Relationships and you can say No

[MissMeliCesar]

Hi
So I wanted to see others views on a topic that is somewhat of a grey area. For years I have disliked all of my relationships with each individual in my family (my parents and siblings) I believe that just because we are family that doesn't mean we are friends and that aspect of our relationship has to be worked at and not a default like the world has been leading me to try and believe. I have gone out my way to support and care about them only to have my actions be construed to a way they work, as in: if they do something for me I owe them more than what they did for me, but if I do something I'm accused of doing things for reason and made out to be manipulative when I just do things to be nice. I am constantly on edge around them, so in the past few months I have told them to leave me alone but I get constant calls and texts, but out of context to others who are not in this situation could read those texts as caring but if I give in and reply its more drama.
Does anyone else have this issue?

You are not alone. Far from it. Is your family affected by narcissism? It takes one narcissistic member of a family to destroy the entire unit.

Carrotcakeyum you are correct they all are, everything is a mind game and it's exhausting

Sorry to have my gut feeling confirmed.
If the family unit has been destroyed by a spider in the middle of the web (the narcissist), over a long period of time, it is all but impossible to untangle the far reaching web that they have spun. The one who is able to see this and shine a light into the darkness, is always the one who has to walk away and cut ties. There is no cure and little hope.
There are lots of excellent websites/books on the subject, and an excellent long time running thread on here! Check out the "But we took you to stately homes" thread
There are some fantastic, experienced posters on there.

Oh wow that's brilliant!! Thank you so much for responding and I now feel less crazy lol

Hi can only talk from my experiences. I have no contact with my family. Faults on both sides. After birth of first DC decided that my energy was best placed in a positive way instead of trying to constantly out energy into a negative situation. To people with good family relationships my situation seems weird or cold. All I m trying to say is if the horse is dead get off. Hope it helps

Yes, you’re not alone.

My family is dysfunctional. After some horrible things that were said by my sister I’ve gone low contact.

I understand what you mean, they pull you in by saying they care - but you know that there will be more drama.

You should look at the stately homes thread on mumset. There are also multiple posts on here about siblings being bat shit crazy.

It was only through reading these that I could identify abuse.