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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Started talking to my ex again.

10 replies

Rotateleft15 · 04/10/2019 14:06

Started talking to my ex again after six months breaking up. It was mutual break up, I never wanted to however she stoped wanting to see me so eventually after trying for months I eventually agreed to mutually break as I couldn't see any other way.
we had stayed in contact here and there's over the months both of isn't initiating. I asked her to meet up early on, talk try again and every time it was no. She would ignore me for months. I would never chase her, she would ignore my message deliberately. I messaged her a couple of weeks ago and I put my feelings in the table. I told her I still like her and regret the last and if I had a chance again I'd do things different. She asked me I was wanting to try again. I told her I want to meet up and talk, I want to see her. She went on to say how upset she was at the end and I said things that upset her , I didn't realise this. I apologised and explained things and she explained how she felt too. She remembered the good times but struggle to forget the bad at the end. She told me she wasn't sure if she wanted to meet up and she'd think abiut it. She said she was confused. She said we could still keep talking. She said she'd let me know when she knows about meeting up (how longs a piece of string?) we've been talking since. I guess a positive isn't she never said no?
she's been very cold at the start taking but I've noticed over the last few days she's opening up a bit more, being a bit more upbeat and talking better. However she takes ages to reply, I can see her online and she ignores me for hours until she replies. If she wasn't interested she would reply quicker? I've also seen her liking pics of another guy too.
I dont know where to go from here? What is she thinking?

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 04/10/2019 14:11

Why, oh why, are you doing this to yourself? She's a total head fuck who takes pleasure in jerking you around with her passive-aggressive bullshit. It didn't work out the first time for a reason. FFS, stop wasting your time.

flipperdoda · 04/10/2019 15:49

Yup, agree with Aqua. This is already making you overthink, be anxious and second guess yourself. Not only that but you've already given the relationship a go and it didn't work.

Speaking of that - I'm sorry but it wasn't a mutual breakup. She ended your relationship and either you refused to see that or she wasn't upfront with you by actually TELLING you she'd ended it - but if she didn't want to see you for the last few months of the relationship then it wasn't mutual, that's the 'coming to terms with it' phase for you.

It's over. It's not going to work. You're wasting your time and stamping all over your self esteem at the same time.

Please please please walk away from this and focus on friendships or a relationship with someone else.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 04/10/2019 15:56

You've hurt each other. You are both confused. All you are doing is extending that!

Walk away and stop trying to reel her back in. Neither of you deserve that!

And yes. Look at the end of the relationship again. It was NOT mutual. She broke up with you and, after some time had passed, you started to accept that. You were dumped. Time to move on to healthier relationships, not least with yourself!

NameChangeNugget · 04/10/2019 16:57

She sounds like a right piece of work

Rotateleft15 · 04/10/2019 19:59

Namechangenuggett yep I'm starting to think myself. She deliberately ignores me and thenappears agin. For me I think it's rude? The only reason I'm trying to make things work is because I still love her a lot, it's a shame she cant be honest with me

OP posts:
purpleberry11 · 04/10/2019 21:45

Been there , wasted so much time and hurt from this. You aren't getting anything positive from this, and she's holding the cards. And playing with your emotions. I know it's very hard. Delete her number and stay away from where she hangs out. You will recover and one day say what was I thinking . If it was going to happen, it would. She will probably meet someone else. So get out fast . Before you get hurt even more. Find someone who wants you .
Best of luck

Rotateleft15 · 05/10/2019 11:48

Purpleberry11 i think you're right, it's been two weeks now since i asked. She seems a lot more open to conversation and a lot more jokey and uobeat from when we first started. But she will still takes along time to reply. I get people are busy but she is online so i know she is deliberl Not opening it. She also seems to reply on the hour so it make she me think she is waiting on purpose for whatever reason.
I know deep down it shouldn't be This hard like you say if she wanted to be with me she would be.

OP posts:
purpleberry11 · 05/10/2019 12:20

She is playing mind games with you, walk away and stop hurting yourself.
You deserve better.

Rotateleft15 · 05/10/2019 13:57

purpleberry11 she's definitely not the person I thought she was

OP posts:
ChristmasFluff · 05/10/2019 20:04

She is not the person you thought she was.

Why would you want a relationship with a completely different person then?

Block her and move on. You are never going to be friends (unless you are into friends who treat you like shit), so why keep her/you hanging?

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