Have I ruined things with my boyfriend?

[Zango11]

I’ve been going out with my boyfriend officially for one month (today lol) but we’ve been dating for 6 months. We live quite far away from each other so only see each other once or twice a week. Last night I saw him for the first time in over a week as I’m just back from a work trip abroad and it was great to see him, we had some great conversation and updated each other on our lives/ walk with God etc. (As we’re both Christian) But then there was a natural silence as we kind of ran out of things to say so I was just smiling and enjoying his company and listening to the music of the restaurant and then he asked me what was wrong, I was a bit confused as I was having a great time! But he thought I looked disinterested and didn’t want to be there as I was looking at other people, looking at him then away from him and making faces. (I didn’t realise I did any of this!) so I apologised for making it seem that way and explained that I was having a good time, I just didn’t know what to say next. But he didn’t believe me and asked what really the problem was. I don’t think there was one but I said maybe because I’m not good at this (dating) as he is my first proper relationship and first person I’ve dated, he already knew this but seemed shocked that he really was the first and then he said he understood that’s why I was acting weird (altho I don’t feel like I was.) So I asked him if everything was okay on his end, thinking he had a problem with me but he said he was fine and everything was okay. (I also have a job interview today so he thought I was nervous for it and that’s why I was acting strange.)

So we talked some more and agreed everything was actually fine and then we held hands walking to the bus. I sent him a message saying thanks for the night as I had a great time but he hasn’t replied. He always sends me a good morning text which he didn’t do today so I’m assuming he’s still annoyed by the way I was acting last night even though he said things were fine. He’s ignoring me and I’m not sure what I can do? We’ve planned to meet up on Tuesday but I can’t bear not to hear from him until then, especially if he’s still mad. Do I just give him some space and wait until he replies?
Also how do I avoid this happening again? I do really like him but I’m not an overly touchy feely person (like holding hands, gazing into eyes) I’m trying to get better but I’m worried I’ve ruined it already. Any advice?

Don't spend your time bending over backwards appeasing him and trying to change yourself into the person you think he wants you to be.

You are you and if he isn't happy with you being you, then he is not the man for you.

Ah OP you sound nice but don't fall in to the trap of thinking that in efforts to be forgiving and a good girlfriend (or christian)you have to accommodate stuff like this. He should be working out how to accommodate you and worrying at home about his childish behaviour but he's busy ignoring you to panic you so that you double up your efforts on him. I guess you not pandering to him for 5 minutes shook his shallow sense of self .

He doesn't sound like someone you need in your life OP. If you are feeling like this several months in and not on the same wavelength either with sitting in silence, I don't think it is a match. If it's only one because you will pander or go out of your way to make it work by accommodating his bad behaviour then a) you never had it in the first place and b) you will have a lifetime of it.

He's waiting for you to do the running here. Don't do it. You did nothing wrong, you explained and he still pushed it and is now giving you the silent treatment. He's letting his mask slip nice and early so sack him off now.

Anxiety is not excuse at all.

I'm failing to understand why everyone is saying horrible things about this man, there is no proof he is actually avoiding you or ignoring you, you are assuming this.

Your assumption could be wrong and the fact he has not sent a good morning message could be because of a number of things. However, you immediately assuming and thinking the worst shows YOU are paranoid and insecure.

He assumed yesterday something was wrong, he did not sulk and asked out outright. You clarified and went onto have a nice evening. Sometimes we do send out mixed signals and do not realise that we may be looking bored or absent to another person.

Instead of making a big song and dance, just be patient and allow him to contact you. If he does not soon, by all means you can ask if everything is okay? There is no need for all of this drama. It's YOU that is now reading too much into things.

The OP says he always sends a morning text .

Trying to remember the last time someone on an MN thread made a dick move and DIDN'T blame anxiety...

Nope, can't remember. Maybe it has never happened.

Stop making excuses for his shitty behaviour towards you! He's a prize bellend. He should be apologising to you.

He made it a tense evening- you did nothing wrong. He could've asked if everything was ok, then simply taken your word for it (the truth) that you were fine, and moved on with the evening rather than effectively still making a scene. The right way to behave when you said you couldn't think of what to say next, would've been for him to say something like 'it's fine, I just like being with you.'

It is possible he was nervous too, so the silence stressed him too (not making excuses for him, and it's not your fault.)

I would give him one more chance, but if he acts in a way that stresses you out/causes an awkward situatiion again, I'd get rid of him.

Any news @Zango11

@AnneKipanki He still hasn’t replied to me but he’s been online on Facebook (although I messaged him on WhatsApp and he hasn’t read it yet). I’m not going to send him another message until he replies though as I don’t want to be chasing him but it’s really surprised and hurt me that he hasn’t replied all day! I’m new to relationships as well so wasn’t sure if this was normal or not so thanks everyone for your help!

@Zango11 OP, if he still hasn't replied, he could be busy or goodness knows what. Do not jump to conclusions just yet. When he does contact just generally ask if he's okay and drop in that you missed your good morning text. You may find that when he does get in touch he may have a reason as to why he has been MIA.

Yes I can understand it must be frustrating as you are connecting his concerns last night with today, but there could be an innocent explanation.

If he does not contact today, you can drop a breezy are you okay text the following day. If he responds and appears to not be bothered, it may be worthwhile considering whether this is the relationship for you. If he does not respond at all - leave him to it.

For now, just try not to work yourself up too much, you'll drive yourself crazy.

Hopefully he does get in touch and something has just kept him busy today.

@DonnaPaulsenSpecter
I disagree.
Move on@Zango11 .
He is so not worthy. YOU are the prize .

He's making you wait and worry. This is not the quality you need in a man.
You deserve someone open and mature x