Woud you expect a partner or family member to make the effort?

[HeyNotInMyName]

When I met H 20 years ago, we had a number of activities/hobbies in common and a few each that the other hadnt done before.
I made the effort to try and learn about the things H enjoyed and I hadnt come accross before. I tried the activities (but never got into them), went to exhibitions wth him etc...
H never made that effort with the activities I enjoyed and just dismiss them and we ended up only doing the activities he enjoyed and the ones that were 'mines', I do on my own.

Recent events has made me wonder if this is right.

Is that not normal to make an effort to SOMETIMES join in with your partner activity even if they are not what you prefer doing?
Im not talking about outrageous things there (eg Im not asking him to go skydiving with me lol) more things like going for a walk in the countryside vs visiting a historic town centre. Or going for 1h30 visit to look at painting vs the same for an industrial museum.
What about late teen or adult children? Would you expect them to make the effort too?

bump

Every relationship it's unique but we all have certain expectations OP.

My DP will come to watch football with me, she'll "get into it" despite not really knowing what is going on. I do loads of things that she enjoys, the only thing I really moan about is going shopping with her (Not the weekly shop, clothes and make-up etc).

She's come to the London Observatory with me (I like space!) and I've been to the Louvre with her. Obviously there are lots more examples but basically in my relationship it wouldn't work if we didn't try to do things like this together.

In regards to older children, well that isn't so straight forward but certainly while they are living with you I'd expect at least something but expecting a 17 year old boy to go to the Tate Modern when all his mates are at a music festival is never going to work.

I make 'effort' with dh's choices because I don't hate them - find them boring, but survivable. He hates (!) mine, so don't expect the same. I did originally, but it was so obviously painful to him that neither of us enjoyed it.

Yes I agree.
And I get the ‘im not ding it because I hate it too’

BUT....
I feel it ends up being very much a one way street. It also had an impact on how our dcs taste developed too.

But more importantly, things change. All the activities we had in common were very much outdoorsy type of things. The dcs have learnt to enjoy them very much too. But I have developed a chronic illness/disability so I cannot do any of those activities anymore.
The result of ‘im not making the effort to join you in your activity’ means we never do anything together as a family.
So H does his things, he does stuff with the dcs and I’m left on the side not able to engage with anything because no one wants to make the effort to join in with me (or not wo a grumble/total lack of enthusiasm that is quite of putting)