Facing up to the probability this is it

[Cantbearsed73]

I don't want this to sound like a long pity post but I'm really down . I'm mid/late forties and single with two kids under 11. Husband walked out when youngest was only a baby . It's been a real hard slog since , I've had to go back to work full time , crawl my way back to the career ladder to earn enough to keep us a float . I have some friends and I organise stuff on my every other weekend when I don't have the children . I have tried online dating but I just never get to the meeting stage , I think I have had about 5 dates in 7 years . I just realised it has been7 years I have been on my own . My self esteem
Is low i know that , one man online asked me what my best feature was ( shit question) but I couldn't think of one thing to say . I run 2/3 times a week to help me de-areas , ward off depression etc and I know I need to sort myself out but I keep wondering how long will this take . I would love to hear from others who have finally got happy in their own skin to be on their own own happily or met someone .

I have no experience but didn't want to leave you with no answers and maybe bump it up. I'm not sure why your self esteem is low because you sound pretty together. You've got yourself financially independent, brought up two kids, go running regularly and have some social life. Many would call that a roaring success.
However, I know it's not that simple. I don't have the answers but I think being socially active in a non-dating way might help. Something you do regularly, get a group of like minded people. Try some meet ups, running clubs, orienteering, climbing... Etc.
I think things will look up and when the kids are a bit older you'll get more independence. Good luck!

That little voice in your head that tells you that you're not good enough is ling and full of BS. Just watch it and don't believe it. It'll drag you down.
I'm seven years on and never been happier because I don't listen to it.

Thank you both for your replies . I think sometimes it looks on the outside that I have my shit together and I guess I am together enough to understand all the things I should be doing . I think I may need to be more adventurous and do more social stuff to expand my social circle . I think possibly as the children were so young when marriage ended I never really dealt with that and the rejection properly

I'm hoping it will get easier as the children get older

AS a suggestion, try and find a meditation class that teaches mindfulness.
The kids are always going to be around young or older, They will still want your time when they are into their twenties.
It is time to find your inner self.