My husband doesn't love me

[JessWakefield86]

And I don't honestly know if he ever did.

He admitted last night that he "doesn't know" how he feels about me. He loves the kids, but not me.

We've been going through a tough time recently. He's in a new job, stressed, and taking it out on me. He's very angry and hyper-critical.

Together 16 years, married for 7. Two children, 7 and 3. I don't know where to go from here. I'm devastated.

My guess is that he’s met someone else — sorry OP. Did the problems start when he started his new job? He may have met someone there.

I’ve been where you are. Fundamentally, you can’t force someone to love you. The more you try, the more it repulses them. Try to carve out a bit of space for yourself. Think very calmly about what you want and need. The way forward will become clear in time, but may not be easy.

Thanks @LondonCrone. The problems have been going on longer than that, but have come to a head in the last month.
He's had phases of being angry and cruel for a long time. But now those phases seem to outweigh anything else.

Oh love. You must be so hurt. Would he be open to counselling? He may not mean it if he's in a state generally, but it's still a bloody horrible thing to hear.

Just saw your update. So this isn't a sudden thing, more a progression of nastiness. You need to prioritise yourself and the kids in that case. If he's unhappy he needs to do something about it, not take it out on you. You must be miserable.

I'm sorry, that sounds incredibly hurtful.

From a practical point of view, it sounds like he's readying himself to leave. Get your ducks in a row, as they say on here. Pension statements, payslips, kids birth certificates and passports, store them all somewhere safe. Get legal advice.

Speak to your family and friends. Silence only helps him, not you. Reach out for help. I can tell you that for sure people are prepared to support you, you just have to ask.