Father on the verge of disowning me

[minminminnie]

Hi all,

I was with my first partner, let’s call him KNJ, for a while. We split at the beginning of 2018 and I quickly got with someone else, let’s call him OSH.

I realised I had made a mistake leaving KNJ and we started contacting each other August 2018 where I was clear I wanted to make amends.

I subsequently split with OSH last October but we didn’t stop seeing each other until February of this year, after KNJ became aware we were still seeing each other and said I can't possibly be taking mine and KNJ relationship seriously if I was seeing someone else.

Now things have been okay with KNJ, we’re friends and we’ve spent some time together and we have been intimate since (although not exclusive)

I now have rekindled a friendship with OSH which KNJ is not happy about, but it is only a friendship, and I was friends with KNJ throughout the majority of my relationship with OSH.

Now, my family don't really approve of OSH and when my father found out I had gone to see him (as friends!) a few nights ago he went ballistic and is on the verge of disowning me (even though I am a grown woman in my twenties) On the other hand, my family are extremely close with KNJ, he is like a brother to my father and to my own little brother, who is not my father's son but....my family are complicated

Is it possible to be in love with two people at once? I can't seem to give either of them up. Should I just leave them both and focus on myself for a while? Shall i go with family-approved KNJ? Should I risk my own father and family disowning me for OSH? I'm so confused.

I think you need to stop messing both of them about.

I wouldnt disown my daughter, but I would not be impressed that she messing 2 people about. Especially if one is a family friend.

even though I am a grown woman in my twenties

I’m not sure you are. Check your birth certificate.

I think your behaviour is the reason your father is about to disown you - not because of this other guy you’re still seeing (friends or not - you’re still seeing him).

It is not unreasonable for your father to want nothing to do with you in circumstances wherein you are behaving appallingly.

And you are behaving appallingly.

If this was a guy flitting from one relationship to another with no regard to to the feelings of others, then people would have a problem.

I don’t understand how your father even knows the minutiae of your personal life unless it is being advertised. I would encourage discretion and restraint in respect to your personal relationships and consider seeing a psychologist in respect to why your behaviour is self harming.

I would suggest you decide who it is and what it is you want OP and then tell your father to back off out of your personal business.You are a grown woman there is too much over involvement going on from your father its not his business . Do you live at home? If so its time to move out. Thing is also you can do as you like but if you involve other people and they see and are told then they will have an opinion.I tell people only what I want them to know or what they need to know, I do think your dad is getting his knickers in a twist though he shouldn't be interfering at all.

I can't get past the way you have decided to name them for this post. Stay single until you are ready to have drama-free, grown up relationships.

You're confused?? So are we after reading all that....

Should I just leave them both and focus on myself for a while?
Yes... do this ^
Stop with all the drama.
Stop messing these 2 men around.
It's really unfair.
End it with both of them.

Do you really tell your dad who you are sleeping / cheating with? Poor guy.

You're messing both these men around.
Your father is over involved.
You're not ready to commit.
You're over sharing with your father.

Have fun. Date. Don't let your family dictate your relationships.

But don't mislead people or treat them with disrespect.

What a car crash

@pinksparkleunicorns
So report it!!!!

@hellsbellsmelons alright, calm down