Outgrowing a relationship?

[fererro]

Just looking for advice and opinions on this topic because I feel truly lost with the whole situation.

I've just turned 23 and have been with my boyfriend since we were both 15. We are extremely close and I love him very much, we've had 8 years of amazing memories and he truly is my best friend.

I occasionally get this feeling that I may have outgrown the relationship as he has a full time job and is ready to move out/have children. Whereas I am in my final year at university and want to experience life first and travel. I do love him but sometimes feel like we're best friends more than a romantic couple if that makes sense?

The thing that makes this 1000 times more difficult is that he absolutely adores me and I know that he would be absolutely devastated if we ever broke up, without sounding cocky he honestly worships the ground I walk on. He is the nicest person ever too so it's not as if I have any reason to not want to be with him, but that's the thing I do want to be with him but sometimes feel unsure?

I'm sorry about the confusing post but this is just what is going on in my head at the moment I feel completely lost on what to do does anyone have any advice on how to stop feeling like this and to just appreciate what I have?

Explain to him what you want to do right now (finish uni/live life/travel.)

If he is understanding and is happy for you to fulfill what you want to do then that's great. If he isn't happy with it then you will know you aren't at the same life stage and can go from there.

Either way you'll know where you stand.

Aw bless both of you, you sound lovely.

It's natural for you to want to spread your wings and if you don't do it while you're young, you may never do it.

Do travel if that is what you want, tell your boyfriend you love him, because you do, that he is free to explore new possibilities too and when you return, you can meet up and see how it goes then. He'll find it difficult but will eventually understand.

You both sound so lovely. Lovely guys don't always come along that easily either so I would definitely suggest as the others have and tell him what you want to do. I ended up in a relationship just before I finished uni and our beautiful dd put pay to all my travel plans. I've ended up living a life I've come to resent a little and am now 15years down the line still wishing I had been able to travel and feeling completely held back in all aspects in my relationship/life. I love my children to bits but if you want to do other things, please pursue your dreams and never let anyone hold you back xx

Don’t settle out of obligation. You are both still very young. Why don’t you go travelling for 6 months after finishing uni. He doesn’t have to come. Go on your own and do your thing. You don’t have to break up. It will give you the space/time to spread your wings and if you are still into each other when you get back then you can take it from there

You’re young go and live your life.

Go, travel.

There's no reason you can't sustain a long distance relationship for a while, if you want to.

If you want to be free entirely and sow some oats, maybe? Then do that instead. It's always possible you might get back together later.

You only have one life to lead and you should take your opportunities while you can.

Talk to him. Go travel. Preferably alone as this will give you the space to honestly evaluate how you feel about him. It is entirely possible that you have outgrown the relationship even if you are both thoroughly good people. Or maybe you just need to get out and explore the world and yourself a little. Tell him you don't want to break up but that if you don't get to spread your wings you may end up breaking up out of frustration and resentment and that you would not be able to start a family etc without first having some life experiences. Perhaps he could come out to see you a few months in and you could spend a few weeks travelling together. It's amazing what you learn about each other when you are away from everything familiar. Good luck.

Listen to your gut OP, and what it's telling you about your needs.You are young and those thoughts aren't likely to leave if they keep cropping up.

Have you sat down and discussed this with him, the fact that you currently want very different things? Or the fact you feel more like best friends than a romantic couple? You travelling doesn't have to equal the end of a relationship but you won't get anywhere without talking to him. Don't give up your life and your desires because he is a nice person and you feel bad. You shouldn't be focusing on how to force yourself to give up on things and settle- the focus should be on getting the most out of life. Your relationship isn't a good one just because you get on, he 'worships' you and it's been going on a while. Successful relationships are ones in which both parties are supported in fulfilling what they want to do, are equal, and do not involve thoughts of settling or staying due to guilt, or being realistically friends rather than 'in love'.