Coping with Ex and mind games

[kimbers7390]

Name changed so not recognised.

My H left me and out three children on Father's day. Told me he didn't know whether he loved me and wasn't happy with where we relocated to 5 years ago. He has lived in his mum's box room since, having the kids every Sunday, back in our home town an hour away. He knows that I have been devastated about the breakup.

He viewed a 2 bedroom apartment on Thursday. Over the weekend he told me he 'wasn't in a great place' mentally, was fed up, didn't know what he wanted, felt like 'everything was up in the air' and was no happier since leaving the family home, but felt like he had to get on with stuff and finding a proper place to live for the kids. He had the kids yesterday and tried to kiss me before leaving, after putting the kids to bed. This is not the first time he has tried it on with me since leaving.

I spoke to him on the phone later that night and asked was this certain what he wanted, as I couldn't put my life on hold any longer and felt like he was giving me mixed signals. Again I was told he didn't know what he wanted. He told me today that he had applied for the flat, but wasn't sure if he even wanted it. Yet he has also signed for a gym in the same town.

I feel like I am struggling to come to terms with the end of our relationship as it seems its ok for him to move on, but I don't seem to be allowed. Its my 30th in March and my mum is after taking me and the kids abroad, but I need his passport details to apply for my little girl a passport, which he won't give to me. He is also refusing to give me his house key back. I also struggle coping with him trying it on with me every time I see him. How do I put an end to these mind games? He seems think he can just have a wife and family when he feels like it? He is obviously going for the flat, so then why tell me he isn't sure what he wants and that he is down! He has chose all this!! Please help, I feel emotionally drained with it all!

You poor darling, he is messing with your head. Be strong and get his passport so you can have a holiday abroad, you need it.
Just try and charm him, by saying who knows what the future will hold, so it is best we get DC a passport.
When you drop off the children or he picks them.up, use the grey rock method on him.
That is just keeping all communication bland and polite. Tell him no when he goes to kiss you.
Tell him straight that you want the house key back.
He chose this and he is not allowed to fuck with your head.
Chin up and stay strong.

. Tell him that unless he gives you the passport details, you'll change the locks. Then when you have them, change the locks.

He’s jerking you around and it’s not on. Time to go see a solicitor. My friends husband left her and refused the passport thing. Ring a solicitor and get it done that way. They can do it. Not everybody has a willing partner. Your child is entitled to their passport. Go around him. No more sitting and waiting.

Are you in the UK? Do you need his passport details to get a passport

British passports I don’t think you do, Irish yes, both parents

I’ve just googled this for you. On the form you write his name and address so that will be his mums address. In the passport details section you write “unknown” they are used to dealing with this.

Get the photos done and send it off.

Oh and if he’s signing on a flat if it was me I’d message “good luck with the new flat. Hope it works out for you. Probably best I see a solicitor and get the divorce filed ASAP. Best to start moving on properly. I’ll let cms know your new address when you’ve moved” I hope you’re claiming everything you’re entitled to.

Yeah you don't need his passport details especially as you will have yours. It's to prove her entitlement to one.