Hello everyone. I need some advice, and maybe a bit of hope. This weekend, after a relationship lasting 10 years, living together for almost 7, my partner told me he no longer wanted to stay with me. He's been thinking of ending it for a long time - months or longer - and we both knew that things haven't been good for a few years. He seems adamant it's the end as he's moved virtually all his belongings out of our shared house this weekend and has stored them at a friend's house, where he's currently staying.
I initially lost it and did all the things you shouldn't do - screamed, cried, pleaded etc. Yesterday when he came to collect the rest of his things I had calmed down and asked him what he felt the specific problems were and if there was a way we could try to discuss them together and work on making things better (he said there wasn't and we both needed to move on). I admitted things hadn't been going well between us and I'd also considered leaving over the past year but decided he was worth saving, although admitted I'd done nothing to change the problems causing those feelings or spoke to him about it, probably because I didn't want this to happen. I told him I was sorry for taking him for granted and not making an effort to make things better between us and for not talking about the problems sooner (although he should also have done that).
The thing is, I really do think it is worth saving but he has currently told me he doesn't. He does mean the world to me - always has, although I admitted to him I didn't always show him or tell him I felt that way.
I've read some advice that suggests if you cut all contact for at least a month (without explaining to them that's what you're doing), it can give people time to realise what they've lost by actually giving them the break-up they wanted (or hopefully thought they wanted), reconsider their decision and try to make it work. As long as you also use that time to try and change yourself in the process to become a better person. I'm considering giving it a go - what do I have to lose? If it works great, if it doesn't it seems that the plan will also work to help make me feel better in time anyway.
He has a last few things to collect from the house this week and I'm thinking of starting the 'no contact' month by making sure I'm out when he comes round. Is that a good idea as I think he won't have changed his mind in a few days so better to be absent? (It'll be painful to not see him but I don't trust myself to not have a breakdown and appear needy and pathetic, as that definitely won't help if he may change his mind in the future).
Second question - has anyone else been in a similar situation where you've tried cutting contact? Did it work? Any other advice about my situation would be helpful. I'm in the rough situation that I don't have any friends where we live - he and his friends were my friends as I moved here with work and planned to leave after 2 years but met him and I've now been here 12.