Have you used Relate / couple counselling etc?

[Fallulah]

...just that really. OH and I keep coming up against the same thing that we see differently. Neither of us really want it to be over but the cycle of arguing/not really sorting it out/arguing is exhausting. Each of us is being unreasonable in our own way but I think it would be possible to move forwards with a bit of impartial help/support with how we communicate with each other. I don’t know.

Have you tried Relate or some kind of counselling? What was it like? Did it work for you?

First thing I will say is Relate isn't a magic bullet, and there's a waiting list across the country so you won't be assessed or begin straight away.

When you do go (after assessment) the first session is together and you discuss your issues. Then you each have an individual session, then you reconvene and begin the work.

Relate has a few book that's useful. What I will say is couples often go to relate to save a relationship, only for the sessions to crystallise there's nothing left to be saved. It can help you voice what you're afraid to say when alone, because if you can't say it in counselling that's honestly a major sign the relationship is done.

What it's really good at (if you have the right counsellor and if you don't feel they're a right fit you can and should ask to change), is helping you to communicate and figure out what you want going forward and how to tell each other that.