Missing Condom - suspicious mind?

[SuspiciousSal]

So I have recently taken to checking the condom box and one is definitely missing. Nobody else could have taken it but H. He outright denies it. I was hoping he may have taken one out to have one close by for us to use (box is in wardrobe) but he had an opportunity to say that and he didn't.

Backstory is married for 22 years. 3 DC. He never shows affection other than in bed. Never says he loves me. He admitted a few years ago that he would have ended our relationship if I hadn't got pregnant with our eldest and he is with me only for the sake of the DC. We have been unhappy for years, me due to being starved of affection, but rub along reasonably well. Splitting up would be very difficult due to lack of finances and we have a DC with severe SN. I also suffer from severe anxiety and have no other support than him!

He recently started wearing his wedding ring after 20 odd years of not wearing it due to it irritating him. He is a very irritable with the DC who have noticed, working 'late' and spending hours at 'the gym'. He's also been more interested in sex with me . He is a very attractive guy and he could easily find an affair partner if he wished. I suppose I wouldn't blame him being in a loveless marriage but I won't tolerate him doing something behind my back.

I have issues with trust due to family issues and have never really trusted him but that could be my problem not his. He doesn't hide his mobile and there is nothing suspicious there but he has recently started looking at porn, apparently as he wanted to get ideas for new positions for us .

Am I just being ridiculous?

Just to add H is probably not devious enough to think to buy an extra pack of 'secret' condoms and he had no idea I was monitoring them.

He wore a new top around the house yesterday which I noticed as it was odd, then he said he was going to the gym at 6pm and would be back by 9. The condom disappeared between Saturday morning and before he went out last night.

What are you getting from this relationship?

Change in behaviour, habits and so on could be indicative of an affair or could mean nothing.

If you believe he is capable of this, then that's not a good start. Is he generally trustworthy or has he given you room for doubt?

You sound utterly miserable. Why are you still together?

Surely being single would be a lot less hassle than being obsessed with whether he's cheating or not or counting condoms? Do you realise how daft that sounds if you read it back to yourself?

We have been unhappy for years

So take control and start thinking about how to end this relationship, and what your life could look like. Think about being happy? Waking up happy?

One condom? I think you are being ridiculous.

Need to work on your marriage, obviously, mind.

One condom? I think you are being ridiculous
I don't think you are OP.
All this along with all the other suspicious activity - it all points to an affair.
So now you need to confront him.
It's obvious to you and us but he will deny it.
So what now for you?
If you have no proof and he won't admit it what's your next step?

You life sounds utterly miserable!
Please don't live a half life just for the DC.
They would much rather see a healthy loving relationship to model for their future relationships.
They would much rather have a happy, content mum!
Look into what help you could get if you were to separate with your SN DC.

You don't trust him and neither of you are happy.

It sounds like you're doing a lot of the parenting alone anyway and would get financial support as a single parent.

If you split amicably, things would be much easier than waiting for a (potential) affair to come to light.

It does sound like an utterly miserable marriage and i would be seriously looking at ways of ending it, however, to answer your question, do you really think if he was taking condoms to meet a lover, he would only take one? Surely at the least, you'd take one and a spare? What if it split, or he dropped it, or just fancied a second go? I dunno, i think I'd want a bit more proof than that, but, of course, you don't need proof of an affair to leave an unhappy marriage.

How old is your eldest ? Don’t discount one of the kids took it even out of curiosity

Funny enough there is a similar thread about where a poster has been accused by her DH after a condom was found in her room.
The main view there is that the OP's DH should trust her, when she says she doesn't know. Be interesting to see if those same people post here.

Who counts condoms? Fuck that for a marriage

Neither of you even want to be in this relationship so get out 🤷🏻‍♀️ Or spend your remaining years a miserable sod, counting condoms....

1. Your marriage is dead, you don't need proof of him playing away to end things.

2)If it's the truth you want, you'll have to find it on your own. Confronting a cheating partner will never, ever result in the truth.

If you want to catch him out, you'll have to snoop harder. Check his phone, check his location history, check the mileage on the car, check for suspicious transactions on any joint finances... But don't expect his to tell you truth.