Teenage heartbreak

[Reggie12to16]

Hi, I’m new to here. My 13 yr (nearly 14) old has just been told by her boyfriend of 15 months that their time is up. I know she is really young but they have known each other since primary school. So far as I know it was kisses only, I know her well enough to be pretty sure of that. She is a really popular and kind person and I hate to see her sad. She won’t talk to me about how she is feeling and I feel really tearful to see it. Has anyone got any thoughts on how I can help get her through it (and how I can pull myself out of feeling so bad. It’s ridiculous- she’s 13!

@Reggie12to16 you sound like a lovely mum, my dd's are both babies and I'm dreading this time in their lives where they are genuinely heartbroken.

You can't shelter her forever and this will all be a learning curve for her, she needs to experience this kind of emotion to grow.

Offering your support and a listening ear and compassion are all you can do really. Maybe encourage her to go out with her friends.

Xxx

Hi, my DS (now 15) had a 2 year relationship starting when he was 12. His girlfriend ended it and he was absolutely devastated. I tried to show him the positives of why he was single and he came round to the idea. Unfortunately this girl then went on to date one of his friends and instead of upsetting him it helped him get over it all. He still talks to both of them but obviously only to be civil. It's been 18 months and he has since stayed single and plans to be that way for the foreseeable future. Thankfully he is focused on his studies and extra curricular activities.

She will definitely talk to you when she's ready. My DS is very open with me so he willingly came to me and I'm sure your DD will do the same.

I dread dealing with this one day and my DS is only 11. Heartbreak sadly is a natural part of life. I guess all you can do is listen when she is ready and try and encourage time with friends or new interests. Perhaps a shopping trip for you both or trying a new activity ice skating or something.

Thank you for your kind words. I think it’s just hard for her after trusting him for so long, and hard for me knowing someone has hurt my baby and there’s nothing I can do about it. I’m sure this will happen lots in the future, it’s just difficult the first time.

Give her space. Her mum trying to help ...will make her feel like she is a child. She will be hating herself right now and doesn't need to feel that too.

She knows you are there if she wants to talk. But more than likely she has to work through this on her own. She has to figure it out herself. She doesn't want to be made to feel like her pain isn't valid.

And although that would be furtherst from what you would mean to be doing, getting too involved or trying to help her get through it...might have that affect.

She doesn't want anyone to shoulder her pain or kids her booboo n make it all better. She needs to get through this herself. Even though it hurts. Because it was real.

Just make sure there is plenty of junkfood in the house. And access to Netflix/DVDs ect..

She'll be fine, she just needs time.

What @Pinkbonbon said .....let her know you are there for her but don’t make a big deal out if it. You do sound a bit overly invested. He didn’t “hurt your baby” - this is just normal at their age. Stop micromanaging and let her talk it out with her mates til the next love of her life comes along

Ahhh I remember this well. My 15 year old was completely devastated when her first serious boyfriend dumped her. I bought lots of chocolate, her favourite magazines and pretended not to hear when Roxettes It Must Have Been Love was played over and over and over again day and night 😂

She's 31 now with her own DD and we do laugh about it.
It's a rite of passage, you sound lovely.