Am I overreacting

[Minaadris]

Hi all, I'll get straight to the point.

My dh commented on an image of a female yesterday who was very muscular but he has this habit of always mentioning their asses. He goes. "I see muscle but no ass 🧐🤨"

My question is why must he always talk about those features. So openly I found that disrespectful. But I let it go. Because I can tell hes looking for her Ass

Then today there was another fb post that said everyone drop a picture of yourself and let people guess your age.

A women posted a full body pic and he goes to proceed and comment "I see bare ass but no face " everyone else is guessing her age except him.

Then she tags him in a very revealing pic of her breast and he goes "nice but you should remove your pictures as their are thirsty men here" like TF.

he has been commenting on females ass since we started dating 6 years ago and now it's just pure disrespect and he doesnt want to acknowledge it. How would he like it if I kept on commenting on not seeing a guys "d*ck" and how good he looks.

Am i being irrational.

Not to minimise this, but why the fuck are you discussing his masturbatory habits with his mum?!

OK practical side of things.
Do you live together?
If you do, whose name is on the lease/deeds?
Do you work PT/FT yourself?
Do you have access to family money or do you have to go cap in hand to him?
You mentioned he's been earning a lot more - could he be dealing?
Do you have support from family/friends nearby?

You deserve so much more than this pathetic, selfish manchild.

@Furiousvexation I didnt tell her me and my husband where arguing about his porn addiction and she interfered.

I'm currently a stay at home mum and he works full time.
I dont have family nearby they're all abroad.

And the lease is in my name.

But I had a discussion with him and I told him I wanted a divorce. He got upset and asked me why, I explained everything and he said I'll move in back with my mum but please let's not separate "I love you "blah blah and hes trying to change. He asked me to give him time to prove himself

Don't let him manipulate you - that's an abusers top trick for staying in control! Glad you were so brave. Xx

Give him time to prove himself ?? WTF has he been doing the past six years then ?

Your story sounds very familiar. My narcissistic ex husband used to say about other women's fits, arse, nose, figure, clothes ,hair. He emotionally, financially and physically abused me for 18 years.
I went from an intelligent, working woman who travelled the world to a hollow she'll, that doesn't know who she is, with zero self esteem.
I didn't get out quickly enough, and my children saw too much abuse and defended me through our our marriage. Things they should never have been exposed to.
I went through Women's aid/safer places and do the freedom programme and triple r.
Please don't end up like me. I asked his mother and sister for help with his behaviour and they both refused to help..... .turns out they are both histrionic narcissists too.
Don't put up with this abuse.

He actually sounds extremely childish. 'I want to see ASS', like he's obsessed with being allowed to say 'bottom' in public.

Get rid.

I’m usually one of those voices saying porn is fine but he’s watching it at work ffs. That sounds like an addiction to me and choosing it over you a majority of the time isn’t good. If you want to leave and he makes you feel crap you’re better off sooner rather than later. Commenting on women is weird because it’s so brazen given you can see it. My partner has shared professional shots that would be revealing but these aren’t women he’s actually talking to and it’s rare. He doesn’t comment on every single woman’s appearance though or get fixated on a body part so much. He has his preferences like most people but he also doesn’t watch porn at all so I guess it’s about moderation. Your partner doesn’t sound like he will set a good example for your son at all. If you want your son to respect women I guess you need to give him an ultimatum or preferably just leave because he clearly thinks what he is doing is fine and your feelings don’t matter.