Feel so lonely

[Quandary2018]

Sorry if this is the wrong place to post about this as it’s not really a relationship issue more a lack of one.
I’m so lonely. It’s truly hit me this week and I’ve spent most of this weekend hiding in the bathroom and kitchen so my kids don’t see me crying.
I’m a single mum to 2 kids, work part time but can easily go the days in between being at work without talking to another adult.
I have no family that live nearby and the handful of friends I do have all lead very busy; family lives
I’ve never been anyone’s best friend so am never top of the invite list- I’ve had one night out since Christmas.
I have no social life because I have no one to look after the kids and can’t afford a babysitter. Their dad took me to court for access 2 years ago after social services stopped him but has played silly buggers ever since and now, just as we were about to get contact sorted, he’s announced he’s moving away so what little time he did spend with them will now reduce to nothing it seems.
I’ve signed up to dating sites but all the men on them just seem to only want casual sex and I don’t. I signed up to meet up but, because I always have the kids, I can’t go to anything.
I don’t know what to do to fix this but this feeling is so crushing I can’t keep going like this

You poor thing. I didn’t want to just read and leave.

Are there any other single mothers who live near you?

You don’t need another man - you just need a friend x

If he's moving away anyway, any chance you could move closer to your family, if that would help?

Yes look for single mothers near you, facebook groups and things like that? Start talking, there's lonely people everywhere and kind people everywhere, but they're just a bit hard to find, probably like you are. Start with just getting adult company, people you can invite over or take your kids with to see, its the most important thing. If you can save up for an occasional babysitter and go out with a good mate and just have fun. Thats what I'd try to do, its really hard but your sanity and some level of social life is as important as everything else, be brave and try and create it a bit if you can?

No, they live in London, I’m in the midlands. Couldnt afford to rent a shoebox there let alone anything big enough for the 3 of us. Plus my sons just started secondary school and doesn’t adapt well to change so to uproot him now would be really disruptive for him.
I like where I live I just wish I had more friends- I can’t remember the last time I properly laughed with another adult

I know you can't instantly find yourself proper friends, but in my experience, when I've out more effort into it, I've at least managed to get myself a few acquaintances - who might turn into friends, but even if they don't, just a bit of conversation can help.
Maybe put some ads on local noticeboards asking if any other single mums want to do stuff with the kids occasionally. If you did get on, eventually you might be able to have the other's kids over...

It might help, as others have said, to get to know other single parents - maybe there might be some sharing of sitting. I am sorry you are feeling lonely - hope things improve for you.

There's some social apps for parents called mush and mummy social if you have a smart phone. A bit like tinder for mums. You can start off messaging and then meet up.
I've done it and it helped my anxiety and lack of social life loads.
Hope it gets better whatever you decide to do.

Thanks for the app suggestions, I’ve downloaded them, hopefully it will help me meet people

I agree that you shouldn't focus on dating as much as finding friends to ass the time with. I'm newly single and I've realised how isolated I've become with no close friends. Once I get my head sorted out with dealing with my bastard ex, I'm going to try to join my local Facebook single parents group.

Pass the time with, obviously!

Hi OP there are lots of widowed
People who are Lonely. They start conversations by phone, you could try that and maybe
Eventually meet up with a lady and perhaps make a pal who would like to babysit sometime then it could be a win win situation- older lonely person meets you and your DCs and you make
A Pal who doesn’t want to join you on nights out but will babysit

Try an app called meetup- that’s a great place for making friends

I wish I lived near you, feel terribly lonely and would love to have a friend with children that we could take on a day out together or go for coffee. I am rurally isolated as well which doesn't help, but cant afford another move either.

I'm glad you're going to try the apps.
My only advice is don't expect too much from it! Much like OLD people can be odd, I met a lot people who just weren't my cup of tea but I also met some people who I could really depend on.
If hot coffee and soft play are your thing, then at least you'll be onto a winner while you shop around for your people.