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Original poster

AIBU to fire an Employee for having an affair with my husband

67 replies

Hanch99 · 29/09/2019 16:00

Ok, not me. But my mom has just found out that her husband (my step-dad of 27 years) has been having an affair with an employee. They jointly own a company. My step-dad has been having an affair with one of the company managers. Now my mom in haste/pain/anger has fired her.

Can she do this? I don't want her to get into trouble or for there to be any legal action against the company but i also understand that she can't face seeing her, whilst trying to run a service base.

It's very messy and sad.

OP posts:
Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 29/09/2019 16:51

If it can be proved the employee spent a lot of time when they were being paid to work doing non-work things (regardless of what they are), surely that's grounds for dismissal? Would you still have to go through all the warning > written warning stages for something as major as that?

2stepsonthewater · 29/09/2019 16:55

Surely the manager wouldn't claim unfair dismissal against a company half-owned by her lover? Unless he dumps her, then she well might.

SleepyKat · 29/09/2019 16:56

Surely sex in work time would be grounds for gross misconduct?

Boobiliboobiliboo · 29/09/2019 16:56

Would you still have to go through all the warning > written warning stages for something as major as that?

Yes. The employee is entitled to a fair hearing (assuming over 2 years service).

ILearnedItFromABook · 29/09/2019 17:00

Can you not fire someone for disrespect for the (part-)owner or disloyalty to the company? I'd say this qualifies as both. How on earth is she supposed to keep working with this woman, under the circumstances?! Seems utterly ridiculous that the cheating employee would expect to keep her job. She took that risk, and now she's facing the logical consequences.

The harder part's yet to come, sorting out the business ownership split between herself and her crappy cheater of a husband.

simone1863 · 29/09/2019 17:00

No - polkey. And that's if she takes it to a tribunal. It's a fair dismissal.

Rainbowshine · 29/09/2019 17:06

Did your mum follow any kind of procedure when meeting the employee? Right to have TU rep or work colleague present at a pre-arranged meeting? Did the employee get advance notice of what the meeting was about? No? Then it’s unfair dismissal as the ACAS Code of Practice hasn’t been followed. Your mum could face a tribunal claim for this.

simone1863 · 29/09/2019 17:09

Irrelevant! Polkey reduction! She would be covered under SOSR if not any number of other implied terms!

Tonnerre · 29/09/2019 17:09

Does your mother have authority to fire the person concerned on her own? Can her husband countermand it?

ajandjjmum · 29/09/2019 17:12

Your poor Mum. DH and I work together, and that sort of situation would be a nightmare.

Get what legal advice you can for your Mum, on how to rescue the situation. Although I'm sure she's not in the frame of mind to worry about that at the moment, it will be important for her to move on in the future.

WonderWomansSpin · 29/09/2019 17:14

Your mom needs to speak to an employment lawyer. In theory, the affair on work time could have breached some contract conditions eg about bringing the company into disrepute; about misuse of work time, etc.
Your mom needs to cover her back and have a watertight legal position. Otherwise, her DP might work with the OW to try to manoeuvre her out of the company.

simone1863 · 29/09/2019 17:19

Honestly, as long as the person doing the sacking here has ownership/management role in the firm, then it is a perfectly legitimate reason to dismiss. Procedure is utterly irrelevant as she would a) have to take it to tribunal and b) win. If she didn't (she wouldn't), then Polkey would apply and she would get no payout. If in the very unlikely event that she would get to tribunal and win, then the guy she had been shagging would effectively be paying her anyway.

TheAlternativeTentacle · 29/09/2019 17:38

If he half owns it, then he can just re-hire her though?

Crikey, your mum needs some legal advice and pronto.

Gentlygrowingoldermale · 29/09/2019 17:46

Mum's on weak ground but I'd risk her playing hard ball.

OK Hubby, you've been shagging in company time, pay her wages back. I'm divorcing you and taking out my share of the company.

Give him something to think about.

SunshineCake · 29/09/2019 17:48

"Post in employment issues, OP. You won’t get sane advice here."

Ignore Bobiliboo or what ever their name is. You don't have to post in specific topics to get sane advice and how rude Hmm.

doublebarrellednurse · 29/09/2019 17:53

She's probably going to have to pay a lot of money to make this go always

doublebarrellednurse · 29/09/2019 17:53

She's probably going to have to pay a lot of money to make this go away

ThatCurlyGirl · 29/09/2019 17:58

@Hanch99

I'd post this in the legal boards so you can get some expert advice that doesn't take emotion into account - I'm so so so sorry for your mum what an awful situation.

Don't take anything for granted in this situation - that she will play nice, that his loyalty is with the business, that she won't want it to come out etc...

There are some amazing people on the legal boards who are well versed and up to speed on all things employment law.

Try not to get side tracked by anyone IRL saying well fuck her, she's a bitch. She is (obvs) but the law doesn't take into account people being dickheads.

Unfortunately in this situation your poor mum needs to play by the letter of the law to protect herself.

Good luck OP and sorry, what a horrible situation Flowers

ChicCroissant · 29/09/2019 17:59

Is that Polkey V Dayton? Haven't heard that reference for years (will Google shortly!)

I have to say that it is very rare for an affair NOT to affect the workplace. I've listened to complaints from staff who have concerns about their colleagues spending more time with each other than actually working. How did she find out about the affair, did a colleague say something? How long had the OW been employed for?

Gross misconduct usually carries instant dismissal, could check the terms and conditions to see what they consider gross misconduct.

Nydj · 29/09/2019 18:01

OP, there is a lot of catastrophising on this thread. Assuming that the affair did happen then I think even if your mum is found to have unfairly dismissed this employee, any award is likely to be significantly reduced because of the employee’s contribution (I.e having an affair with the boss who happens to be the other boss’s husband). It may be sensible for you mum to contact acas helpline tomorrow morning to get proper advice based on the full facts.

IndieTara · 29/09/2019 18:05

@MaidenMotherCrone I'm a Brummie and never come across Mom in my 52 years

ChicCroissant · 29/09/2019 18:10

Mom is Black Country, I think - it is common in that area. Not entirely American.

ThatCurlyGirl · 29/09/2019 18:12

@IndieTara

Two friends from the Black Country - both use Mom!

KatherineJaneway · 29/09/2019 18:25

It depends on a lot of different factors. How long had the employee worked there? Did she not properly undertake her role while having the affair? What exact basis was she dismissed on?

IndieTara · 29/09/2019 19:16

@ThatCurlyGirl that may be why then. I'm Bham not Black Country