Rubbing my face in it .

[Peaceofmindplease]

I developed a heavy emotional but non sexual relationship with a man.usual story, connected on every level etc. I was in the process of separating at the time.it helped me through.we got too close and I asked for space which he didn’t respect.I had strong feelings for him but my priorities had to lie elsewhere.
He then met a woman. He was relaxed and casual about her and strung her along, possibly still is.He sought advice on a range of their issues but needed none of it which was his own decision etc but the issues remain and he still asks for advice. I have taken advice myself to let him know that I’m not the person to be asking advice. He ignores this.more recently, he has started to send me photos of them together at various events. What is he up to and why is he hurting me like this.To add he has no idea I have feelings and that they are being hurt . He thinks I’m in the midst of a fling!tgoughts and advice very welcome.

Rethink boundaries, block him and direct his queries elsewhere.

He is not a nasty man.in fact I would say he is a genuine and kind man so deep down I hope this is not intentionally to hurt me but it feels like it.thanks

You say yours, he’s rubbing your face in it. He could ask anyone for advice - friends, family, colleagues - but he asks you. He wants you to get jealous. Don’t rise to it. Just block him and then delete his number so that you’re not tempted to unblock.

That was meant to say ‘you say yourself’.

Goodness knows what’s going on in his head. I tend to not reply for ages to these types of things and say I was busy sorry hope you got it all sorted etc.

It upsets me to think he would try to make me jealous.The innocence of me tells me that he thinks I would be happy for him. Do you really believe that he is trying to make me jealous?
When he is asked in the past for advoce I have been honest and he didn’t like that.I told him that I felt he was using her ( in a kind way) by the way he treats her.He may be trying to convince me otherwise?

You say you asked for space and he has no idea you have feelings for him so how is he rubbing your face in it? I think you need to set firmer boundaries with him.

What is he up to and why is he hurting me like this.

To add he has no idea I have feelings and that they are being hurt.

He thinks I’m in the midst of a fling!

You've just answered your own question. What advice do you need?

He's not a mind reader. Just be honest with him or block him if you can't.

When I asked for space he did not respect those boundaries . Then one day out of the blue six months later and six months into his new relationship , he suggested we scale back on contact because of his new girlfriend 🤔I never initiated contact back then and took days to reply if at all
sometimes.His texts were inappropriate nearly always.Im trying to make sense of it all that’s all.

Try Relationships thread.

He doesn't know what he wants (or wants to play two women!)

Either way, it's messing with your head and making you very unhappy.

End contact.

We're moving this to relationships for the OP.

Do you really believe that he is trying to make me jealous?

100%.

In fact I would say he is a genuine and kind man

Doesn't sound like that to me.

You can’t reasonably ask why he is hurting you by ignoring your feelings and then add, in the very next sentence , admit that he doesn’t even know you have feelings for him and that he thinks you’re seeing someone.
If we were 14 I would suggest that he “likes you and is trying to make you jealous so you tell him that you like him so he doesn’t have to confess it to you first”.
But we’re not 14, are we?

Have you posted before? You're married or have a long term partner, but insisted it was just a friendship and you were simply confused because your 'friend' was pulling away from this very intense friendship now he has a gf? His contact was frequently inappropriate, and he'd constantly cross boundaries you tried to put in place? But you insisted it was ONLY a platonic friendship? You insisted there were no romantic feelings on your side!? But you couldn't block cos it would make things weird at work?

If you are then you're still obsessed and desperately trying to verify that he wants you. Your obsessed. You need to give up. He used you as a stand -in gf, he doesn't care about you the way you want him to. You need to block and put all this emotional energy and drama into your real relationship. You'll never work out why he does these things and crosses boundaries and uses you. You need to think about your own motivations: why do you care still, why do you allow your boundaries be trampled on repeatedly, why you are investing so much into this non-relationship!

If that wasn't you, my bad. Simply block the guy.

Hello again and thank you. I am
Separated and it was never platonic.There was always more but not sexual.

You said you wanted space, he eventually gave you space I’m guessing because he met someone but now it’s hurting you?

People don’t wait around forever. He probably thinks you friend zoned him and is looking for advice, the same way he was there for you during your break up.

It is strange behaviour to send you photos of him and his new partner.

I would suggest to you that you don't actually know him that well and that he is trying to make you jealous and possibly hurt your feelings as well.

I also think you should not waste any headspace on this man anymore. He is not your friend and he sounds like an arse.

Block him and move on.

It is a possibility I guess .i didn’t think of it as such.he only gave me space months after asking and when he was in his own relationship six months on