I need a good talking too !

[Mollyalone]

Hi I feel the need for others opinions on my situation as I’m getting my thoughts confused between what was exceptable and what was down right wrong
So here’s a list of my ex dp’s good and bad points

Always txt back straight away
Bought me flowers, chocolate, wine every Friday
Took me on lots of holidays and expensive meals out
Told me he loved me all the time

Bad points
Was very needy of all my time and attention
Always had to sit next to me and hold my hand at all times whilst relaxing
Would pull my top down and expose my boobs when I was watching tv
Would grab my boob as I walked past and often in front of people
Would always refer to his ex wife as the Ginger C..t
I caught him being heavy handed with his and his daughters cats on a few occasions
Was a constant groper
Was foul mouthed when drunk and embarrassing
Was very obsessed with his willy and was always boasting about its size and never missed the opportunity to flash it off...yuk
Was shockingly selfish in bed and was a wam bam man Always 🤦‍♀️

I could go on but I feel I’m being a bitch and there lies the problem
I finished the relationship last month and have no intention of going back EVER as this has made me feel very low and cheap for putting up with it, but I also feel guilty for hurting him after all the lovely gestures he showed me when he was being good.

He is back on tinder already and no doubt will shower the next victim with the nice things in life then hit her with all the shit stuff when his feet are under the table.

Sorry it’s long but I’m feeling really low today that i have allowed this I’n my life after going through a truly heartbreaking split/divorce from my exh

We are both in our 50’s

Just some advice and reassurance needed really as I feel I could never let another man touch me ever again but ultimately don’t want to be alone forever 💐

Anyone ?

What a vile sleaze. He bought you stuff to tell you he'd therefore paid for you, and your breasts were now his to expose and grope at will. Well done for getting rid.

I'd leave dating for a while, sort out what your boundaries are and stick to them with the next ones you date.

His 'bad points' read a total nightmare! I would try not to feel too guilty about dumping him, as you say he's straight back on tinder. Exposing you and groping you is abuse. You sound as though you are lacking in confidence after your divorce and that's why you got involved with this creep. Give yourself time and cut yourself some slack until the post divorce 'brain fog' clears. You stand a far better chance of finding someone decent when you have had a chance to think about what it is you want from a relationship. Wishing you all the best.

What an absolute fucking cock. No words.

Lovely, your guilt is misplaced. Put it down at the side of the road where it belongs.

You have dodged a massive bullet. Hes a worthless piece of scum.

Chin up. You'll be ok. Walk forwards and dont look back.

We are here.

He gave you money and monetary things in exchange for you being sexually objectified and in exchange for you accepting his bad behavior. It was a total transactional relationship.

Connect the good points with the bad points. It is one and the same. You have them separated in your head.

He's not nice. Anyone who is heavy handed with cats can fuck the fuck off.

They say everyone who comes into our lives teaches us a lesson, be it good or bad. In this case he has taught you exactly what you don't want in the next man you meet.
I would try and love yourself more, heal from your divorce and give arseholes like the ex a wide berth.
Read up on narcissists/psychopaths/ Sociopaths and look out for red flags.
Just the way he treats animals is a red flag.
Onwards and upwards sweetie!