Hi there,
I need advice as have no-one to talk to and don't know what to do.
Keeping things short but married nearly 9 years. We married quickly (yes I know) and now have 2 children, 6 and 5. The youngest is disabled so I have been focusing on her care up to now and been working part time. My income is low and my husband pays most of the bills.
So for most of our relationship my husband hasn't been interested in sex and has been emotionally switched off from me. First he said it was stress (his job, we had two mcs and several years of financial crisis) then he said it was his drinking (since stopped). He is a good dad, has a lovely manner with them but it doesn't extend to me. I am heart broken as desperately miss love and affection. I have never had an affair but at 42 I feel I can't live like this forever. We argue like most couples over housework and life balance etc but since we don't have any intimacy, even if we "make up" we don't really heal the rift.
We had a huge bust up yesterday over a silly thing and it has escalated into us getting divorced. He refuses to leave the house, says i can go if I want and that he will stop paying the mortgage if need be. I have no savings and can't pay the bills on my own.
There is no way he would want custody of the children but my problem is that if we sold the house I don't think we could afford two smaller properties in London. Also the girls totally adore him.
I have asked if we can do anything to work on our intimacy issue but he has now resorted to sending me snidely texts and starting arguments in front of the children. The thought of having to live with this for months is awful but i have no-where i can go. Children both just started at a local school, moved here recently and i have made connections but we have no family nearby and no-one I can tell about this awful situation.
If we had to move out of London then I would literally have no support network. I have thought of buying somewhere else and renting it out and then taking 6 months and just going travelling with the children, to work out what to do.
Help, has anyone been in this situation and come through it?
Thank you,
xx