Advice on making things work with sister

[Wonderland18]

So my sister was always a huge part of my life, we always text, called and spent a lot of time together.
She was super supportive when I was pregnant for the most part although got distant towards the end. She suffers with depression pretty badly as do I but she also has wanted a child a long time and one was never really on the cards for me so I’m not sure if that’s a factor.
Since my DD has been born I’ve spoke to her maybe once every month at a push, it will be 3/4 messages before she will respond, she’s only seen DD 3 times and she’s now 10 months and anytime I try to talk to her I get no where.
I know it sounds like I’m proper reading into things and being petty but she doesn’t like pictures of DD on FB but does all our mutual friends babies and comments nice things.
I’ve messaged her a few times about PND or panic attacks about returning to work and had no response but she will message back about other things now and again.
I’m at a loss, I don’t want to lose our close relationship because of this, do I make a point to spend time with her while I have a babysitter? Talk to her about only her life until she’s more open with things? or do I stand my ground and let our relationship suffer until she accepts DD a little more?

She’s obviously jealous and that’s going to be hard to combat. Could you involve her with DD more? Make her a special auntie. Ask for her to take her to a music group or softplay or something like that? Maybe she feels like she doesn’t have a role to play?

I’ve tried, I’ve invited her to a few groups, I’ve asked if she wanted to take DD to lunch I’ve sent pictures and videos of DD’s firsts. I ended up stopping doing it a couple of months back cause I wasn’t sure if it was perceived as rubbing it in.. I’m honestly at a loss, I tried to talk to her about it and got no response but she replied when I brought up something else.

I do love her to bits but I’m not sure how to fix something getting more and more strained by the day.

Be really direct and tell her what you’ve said here. She’s probably finding it hard if she’s desperate for a child of her own. Do it before it grows into something of a grudge because nooone will just say it.

This sounds really difficult for both parties. If you're close enough in general, I'd recommend calling her or meeting up in person. Explain how you feel and let her explain how she feels. Try not to be defensive even if she says something you think is unreasonable - you are probably right that she's feeling jealous and resentful that you have achieved what she hoped to achieve. You seem like an empathetic person who genuinely feels gutted that her sister isn't happy for her. I hope it works out for you x

Thank you @marriedwithhounds!

I did lay it all out similar to this post 2 months back and she didn’t respond for 2 weeks and when she did it was about something else. I’ve tried calling her and she just lets it ring out.
I’m really scared it’s just gone to far now that there’s no return. She will reply and offer to make plans and when I agree on whatever day she says she won’t reply, the day will come and I won’t hear from her at all.

I feel like she’s kinda finished with our relationship and there’s nothing I can do about it at this point. I guess I’ll have to let it play out.

Would you be happy to salvage a relationship with her if it didn't involve dd? I'm reading this and thinking that all your efforts to save the relationship seem to centre around involving her more in dd's life but maybe (for whatever reason) she doesn't want to do this? The plans you are making, are they with you, or with you and dd? Could you make a plan that's something the two of you used to enjoy pre baby?
It's really difficult to tell on here but possibly she feels that when she Does talk to you it's all about DD which pushes her further away? I'm not in any way suggesting that you are in the wrong. In an ideal world she'd be a doting auntie, but she isn't and maybe accepting that she doesn't want that role is a way forward.

@LadyJaneGrey56 I’ve offered a few times to go out for meals together On days DD’s dads off so he can take her, she still doesn’t respond much. She’s got an extremely active role in her DP’s little sisters life and used to spend time with my DP’s son. I’d be more than willing to build back our relationship till she’s comfortable to include DD but even then how far does that go before I draw a line, as I just couldn’t sit back and have DD excluded from parties or get togethers.

It’s such a toughie