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Leave or try and work it out

3 replies

delilahhu · 28/09/2019 23:20

NC for this thread- I have been with my DH for 7 years... we have 2 young children.

Recently I have been extremely unhappy in our marriage, we have a big age gap and I met DH when I was 18. We were married quickly and got pregnant straight away. I was completely over the moon with everything and thought I had found what I was looking for.

But fast forward to now and I've been feeling really lost in myself. I've started to feel like I settled down way too young. It's not the fact that I've missed out on anything but more that I'm worried as I've got older and obviously become a parent and matured, I feel like I've grown in a different direction to my partner. We get along but small things he does winds me up, he's extremely jokey and constantly making stupid comments in situations where it's just not needed. He thinks I've become boring and way too serious.

I don't think either of us are wrong but I just feel like if we were picking again now we wouldn't end up with each other, so really we are staying together for the sake of the kids. I struggle to imagine my life without him but I think that's more of a scared feeling because its all I've really known.

I hate the thought of splitting up my family and I really don't like the idea of having to be without my kids every other weekend for example... I've really struggled with separation anxiety since they were born. I am also a sahm which I love and it would be a big change in my life and the kids life if I had to work and the kids had to go to nursery every day.

I do still love him and there are times we are happy but I am unhappy more of the time. We don't really have a good sex life anymore because if I'm honest I'm just not into it. I feel like we have no connection anymore.

Is it worth trying to re connect and fix our relationship or do you think we are wasting each other's time?

OP posts:
mamato3lads · 29/09/2019 02:46

Have you spoken to him about how you feel OP? He deserves that.
There may be something worth saving but you do need to talk first x

Graphista · 29/09/2019 03:25

If you still love him and he's a good man then it may be you've simply found yourselves in a rut.

Some other comments you make suggest you may be suffering a low level depression - are you taking care of yourself?

Maybe you just need to rediscover each other?

delilahhu · 29/09/2019 09:03

I do try and talk to him but he doesn't ever want to talk about anything.
If I try and sit down to talk he says he can't be bothered to argue or get into it so just to leave it. But then I feel like how can we improve our relationship if we don't ever talk or try and work on it together.

OP posts:
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