Anyone else as unlucky as me ? Any success stories ?

[Crystal1981]

I'm in my late 20s. Anything bad that a man can do to a woman, it's been done to me. Cheating, abuse of many sorts, manipulating, gaslighting, threatening, ghosting, secret girlfriend whilst leading me on, lovebombing, you name it, it's been done.
My friends joke now about how unlucky my love life is, and I try to but it kills me inside.
I haven't had a long-term relationship for 4.5 years, and that one was an abusive one.
Never in my life imagined it would be this hard. I think I have stuff going for me and stuff to offer. I just seem to have 'treat me like dirt' on my forehead.
The last one was intelligent, sweet, attractive and we had a very strong connection, then it turned out he secretly met a girlfriend but carried on stringing me along.
I know it's important to not get too invested early on, but the outcome would have always been the same.
Ive just been incredibly unlucky and I dont deserve it at all, because i'm a good person.
Starting to despise men and getting very down. Anyone got any success stories of lovely men they ended up meeting ?

I usually put them in their place then try to move on. They might (or may pretend to) feel bad for a day or two, then they will not give a crap about me and continue with their new squeeze. Ive become very bitter and jaded, and i'm tired of having to always pick up the pieces whilst they get away with it all.

This might sound harsh but I needed to hear the same.
You need to take responsibility for your actions, no one is forcing you to make crap decisions on crap men. It takes two to get Into a relationship and you need to be grown up to pick the right man and not make foolish choices
I suggest you have a break from dating. No apps, no online dating and have a break to think about your expectations and what you really need out of a man.
I suspect you're going for looks or status over substance?
So men might be fun at the time but they're not long term boyfriend material.

I feel for you, I've only had bad relationships too (all kinds of abuse - physical, emotional, psychological, sexual) but I've been with my partner for five years and we have problems of course but he would never act like any of my previous partners. He is a really good person and he looks after me as I have some mental healtj issues. I had given up too, but it did happen for me.
Sometimes when you're a good, kind person it's easy for people to treat you badly. But not everyone will. I don't know what else to say other than hang in there, don't let some arseholes put you off finding someone that will make you happy!

Thanks for the advice yes I can definitely say I have previously gone for some highly unsuitable men when younger and that I was incredibly naïve to expect good from them.
The last one just seemed so nice and seemed my equal, my friends had high hopes about him and then the secret girlfriend, just absolutely floored me.
I'm happy you met someone nice poster 2.

I just view all men as sex-obsessed now and believe they will tell you all sorts of lies to get it. It's my nature to see the good in people and I am tired of being treated like rubbish. Being nice gets you nowhere in dating I feel.

I think (in my experience) 'dating in general, especially online dating is pretty shallow and the majority of men on dating sites just want sex, or they treat it like some sort of cattle market.
Maybe you need to establish better personal boundaries in order to not let people walk all over you? I know it's very hard to do. Also sometimes people are just good at acting nice until their true colours show.

I had two long term abusive relationships, one right after the other. I then took a break from dating altogether, I did the freedom program and I took time to get to know myself as a person rather than as someone's girlfriend.

I am now happily remarried to a wonderful man and am coming up to five years with him. I met a few frogs online dating before him, but I understood and recognised the red flags early on and ended things because I was okay being single.

Yes maybe that's right I need to do that. I had a massive go at the guy with the secret gf and told him he was a lying piece of , that I never wanted to see him again.
But ultimately, they arent worth wasting the energy on.
I do find dating online incredibly shallow. Ghosting is so widespread; I could be having a great conversation with someone and then they suddenly vanish. Dont think it's anything i've said, just that something 'better' came along.
I prefer meeting people IRL but I find that most have girlfriends or married now at this age :/
Hopefully things will get better.

Glad to hear these success stories though. I know there is nothing wrong at all with being single, just hard to constantly be treated this way when you do try with someone.