Uncomfortable discussing relationship?

[Soph1997]

So, i'm in a new relationship. It's only been a week. Anyway, i have been talking to a few people, as friends, one male and one female. She knows the person i am currently seeing and he doesnt.

The only reason i was talking to him about my relationship was because he said he wanted to get to know me more so i told him i had a boyfriend. He asked how serious and i told him a few months, just to try and out him off abit and stop the questions. He then said 'so not especially a serious relationship then, still in the honeymoon stage'.

The girl, i was giving uni advice to and she asked if i had dated anyone whilst studying. I said no but i was seeing someone now. She asked a few questions and then proceeded to tell me to becareful as she knows what men are like and as i had been single for 4 years i might be abit niave. I didnt mention anything to her about him having not been single long but she still said that you have to watch men that havent long gotten out of a relationship as theyll say anything to get what they want. That he could be rebounding or just using me for sex.

I told her i hoped it wasnt that way and that i didnt feel comfortable discussing my relationship with a stranger but thanked her for the advice. She then said i only felt uncomfortable because deep down something about what she said is ringing true.

Am i the only person that feels uncomfortable talking about their relationship with somebody they dont know? Does she have a point?

I think it's weird that so many strangers are interested in anything beyond politeness Tbh. Sounds like she's been burned and is the type to tell everyone how awful all men are. I'd ignore.
The guy possibly trying to suss you out for a date so I think telling him it had been a few months was sensible, again I'd just ignore.

The best answer to those kind of comments is to smile, say "well we'll see" and change the subject.

The guy didnt particularly bother me. But its the girl as i know she knows the guy im seeing and clearly knows that he is just out of a relationship. What concerns me as that maybe she knows that thats what hes like. Maybe she knows of a pattern with him? The things she was saying made me feel uncomfortable and now i dont know if its for the reason she said

No your definitely not. I didn't really tell anyone about dp when I met him as it was early days & you dont know how it's going to go. Didn't want the pressure of anyone knowing.

Both of them sound a bit negative in their comments. It's not really their place to give their opinion unless they're asked.

It does depend what info was divulged & how it was put to her.
How well do you know her?
She could either be jealous because she likes him, or she's had a bad experience with men or she's genuinely looking out for you. Unless it's the latter she should'nt be projecting her negativity onto you & she shouldn't be using your feeling of being uncomfortable to validate her opinion. That's cruel.

I don't know her at all. She's a friend of a friend. Our friend put us in touch with eachother so as i could help her out with some questions she had about uni.

She knows that me and my boyfriend have been friends for about 10 years and only just got together now. She asked how come and i said we just never clicked as liking eachother until now.

I mentioned to her that this guy had messaged me and she told me they just say anything to get what they want. I said well im in a relationship so he wont be getting what she wants.

She then said... just be careful, even the ones you put your trust in are the same. I've learnt that the hard way a few times. They tell.you they love youb but all they really want is sex and then once they're bored of it they're gone. It could be that your mate was going through a dry patch and you were there. I'm not saying that's the case but just be wary. I've seen it happen so many times and the girl always gets hurt

That's a broad generalization to make!

I'm sure you know to be careful even if this wasn't a guy you had known for so long.

It sounds like she's not had many positive experiences which doesn't equate to her knowing better. She shouldn't be calling you naive.

I don't trust that easily, someone has to earn it but I don't assume every guy is bad. That's a very cynical mindset. She's indirectly warning you off him.

Her unsolicited negative opinion is only reflective of her own experience. It has no basis on your relationship at all. Take the relationship as it comes & make up your own mind.

Only you know what is happening in your relationship. She sounds very cynical and has probably been hurt in the past, and is basing her opinion on this. If you're happy then ignore it all.

I am happy. He seems happy too. The only part of it that concerns me is he does want alot of sex. I stay at his most nights and he always wants sex while im there and texts me in a very flirty manner when im not. I hadnt thought anything of it, just thought it was normal for a new relationship. But maybe shes right

I have been married for 34 years to a lovely man, but he gives me NO affection, not even a kiss goodnight. I am desperate for some love, what should I do, I’m in my late seventies, love life, but he doesn’t want to go anywhere or do anything.