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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Did I get this so wrong ?

9 replies

MamaBear891 · 28/09/2019 08:58

Basically wondering if I should have left my ex and father of our DD.

We had been together 6 years, during this time he had sexted one girl, been lazy, refused to really show any sign of commitment or to help look after DD when she arrived. DD was an accident btw, failed contraception. The breaking point for me was messages to a woman from his old work asking her out to dinner and saying he wanted to chill with her followed by horny emojis. So I’ve left and that was 3 months a go.

He has always tried to say it was just a bit of banter with the other woman, she done it with everyone. That he knows he took me for granted and is sorry but there hasn’t ever been anyone else. That he isn’t sensitive and finds talking about emotions hard but not being with me and DD hurts him so much. And reminded me that we were close friends before we got into a relationship.

I’m just wondering did I get this so wrong, or is he trying to lure me back in. He himself says he isn’t trying to lure me back in and doesn’t want to talk and the texting as he says the more he protests the more it makes him look guilty.. true but why would you say that.

OP posts:
SparklyMagpie · 28/09/2019 09:03

Don't get back with him

WhoKnewBeefStew · 28/09/2019 09:07

You're better off on your own than with this lazy arse!

MamaBear891 · 28/09/2019 09:15

No one can change so quickly, right? Part of me wonders if it because he realises how much he’d have to give me if I went through cms. At the moment he is giving me substantially less than what he’d have to, which does make me wonder.

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 28/09/2019 09:18

Why are you accepting less than the legal minimum? Tell him you want that, then see how he behaves,

Pinkmonkeybird · 28/09/2019 09:27

No, you made the right decision. He sounds awful. Definitely go through the CMS. The fact he's paying bare minimum is just another reason why you made the right decision. He has no respect for you and will never change!

MamaBear891 · 28/09/2019 09:42

@Bluntness100 we agreed an amount before I knew what the legal minimum was. The problem is even with that amount I have to ask him to send it over and then sometimes he just doesn’t do it at all and asks me how much I need. I will be applying through cms though as he does get a good income although I suspect from giving his parents hundreds ever month plus mortgage and car loan he probably doesn’t want to part with too much.

OP posts:
MamaBear891 · 28/09/2019 12:27

It’s all lip service isn’t it

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 28/09/2019 12:53

Yes it's bullshit. Make him pay for his kid and see how much he wants to get back together then.

Roozy123 · 28/09/2019 13:02

Do not get back with this man.
He's clearly got 0 respect for you.

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