Why should I?

[donethinkin]

Have sex with my DH?
I’ve got to the point where I just can’t be bothered. He never bothers making me feel good so why should I make him feel good? He never buys me birthday, Christmas, anniversary gifts. Never takes me out on my birthday. Never buys me any flowers or chocolates. He just makes no effort and never has. He buys the kids expensive things. He orders off amazon for himself all the time...does anyone else feel like this? I feel completely taken for granted. Why should I give him a wild night between the sheets when he does naff all for me? Surely a woman should be wined and dined and made to feel good. Why should I let him enjoy my body when he can’t even make an effort to buy me a birthday card!
Just wondering if anyone else is married to somebody who does nothing for them and if it makes you feel resentful like this?

I think you've got sex and ownership confused. Having gifts bought for you doesn't put sex on the cards.

My DH never really buys me things. I buy my own things. We enjoy sex mutually because he's nice.

If your husband isn't nice, that's why you should not have sex with him.

Have you both done the love languages test? It sounds silly but we all have different primary ways of showing and feeling love. Gift giving is one of them so it sounds like that's pretty high on your list, and maybe acts of service too. Maybe his is words of affirmation or quality time? Could be a starting point for you to have a conversation with him about your needs and help you understand how he thinks he's showing love if it's not through gifts & doing things for you?

You don't have to give him anything, a wild night between the sheets is usually mutually enjoyed. If you are not 'feeling it' because of his behaviour, you are not feeling it and it shouldnt be on the cards.

You sound like you feel unappreciated.Does he do naff all generally not just in relation to gifts, etc? IE does he pull his weight and is he supportive of you?

Have you talked to him about flowers/gifts/nights out? You obviously need that to feel appreciated. And, if he isn't a lazy lump that does bugger all, do you get him gifts, cards, etc?

Difficult to judge from your post OP

Will look that up @littleorangecat22

Look up th 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. There used to be an online quiz to find out your love language and your husband's, this may help you.
If not, just buy yourself the flowers, chocolates and treats for yourself. Love yourself more.

If you don't enjoy sex with him and resent him so much, then of course, don't have sex with him. You talk about sex as though he's the only one who gets anything out of it, so if there's no pleasure or interest in it for you any more, then totally understandable you don't want it.

But you also need to deal with how bad your relationship has become. Why are you together? Do you want to split?

If you don't want sex, please don't have it. I know what it's like to feel obliged, but you honestly don't have to. Sex shouldn't be that way, I'm working on trying to avoid any sexual acts I feel I 'ought' to do, for life. At the moment I don't want sex (with anyone else :) ) at all, and that's fine. x

Why be with someone who simply can’t be arsed. I don’t particularly need or want sex to be honest but if I had the same issues as you then it wouldn’t be remotely on the agenda- ever!!