Advice!!!!

[Milica25000]

Hi,
I so desperatly need an advice....
We have 2 kids and it is my husband's birthady in few weeks (50).
A month ago he rushed me to book tickets for kids and myself to see my family during half term in October. Unfortunatly he can't join us as he can't get time off work. (!)
Today (Friday) he told me he booked a trip for himself to Dubai (£630) while we are away as he wants to treat himself for birthday.
He has been complaining about money recently and asking me to contribute more as kids clubs are too expensive, which I did (stupid cow!)
During that week, his friend will be in Dubai for work so he will be spending time with him and his brother (?). Not sure about that at all.
I just do not know what to do !?!?
I am FURIOUS! He spoke and arranged everything with his friend, without discussing it with me first. He has been keeping it from me for few days and complaining about money (£320) all the time.

I am due to have ankle surgery and planned to cancel my trip with kids... Also, there is a conference I would like to attend that week in October, but now I can't as he will not be able to look after kids (I was plannig to book him a weekend with kids while I am away).
I am so hurt to hear all those lies, I feel humiliated, disrespected and sick.
He thinks only about himself and it has been like that all his life.

The best (worst) thing is that I found about ticket fare, intenary etc. just now.

Shall I cancell his flight? Shall I rebook it? Shall I ignore it? Shall I get devorced? Shall I book flight for kids and myself too?

I just hate him SO MUCH!!!!!

He sounds very selfish indeed.

Unfortunately, I don’t think cancelling flights or booking for youself and kids will resolve any of the issues; he’d still be a selfish prat.

If this behaviour is typical of him, I would think seriously about divorce.

Have I misunderstood.

You were planning on cancelling you trip and going to a conference, leaving the kids with him and are upset you cant do that.

Did he know that?

It sounds like you both alot without telling the other what you are planning.

Shit, that should say 'plan alot'

And for his birthday you were booking hom a weekend away with the kids, but you wouldnt be going?

We live in London and my family is abroad. Back home we have a successful family business to which I decided to reduce my involvement after moving to London.

I moved to London because my husband was living here, leaving my mother and brother to look after the company. I am still involved but not as much as I should.
My brother suggested going to this conference with him as this event takes place every 4 years and is very important.
My mum works full time and she can't take care of two extremely active boys for few days.
My brother and his family live in my mum's house so to have two of them ( my mum and my sister in law)with 5 kids (7y-1month) is way too much.
Whenever I visit my family that means full time work, one child is in nursery and older one is with me in the office.
Therefore, I thought to book him a flight so he can look after kids for 2-3 days while I am away.
At the same time, if he go back home "together", my husband spends time with his parents drinking cappuccinos all day, visiting friends...

By the way, I remembered my husband asked me for contribution to Christmas home tickets booking, as he "paid other things".
By the way, he is the only one having access to kids bank account.

Maybe I should take kids and leave them with his cappuccino drinking parents for few days while he

....is having fun in Dubai and his parent are going through nervous breakdown!!!!

So you were planning on booking a weekend away for your husband and kids? Did he ask for this?

A conference you know happens every 4 years now you suddenly want to go on? So you expected him to look after the children?

Yes he should of told you he wanted to book a trip for his birthday but you should of told him your plans too. There is no communication between you both

Are you all missing the part when he 'rushed' op to book tickets for hesrself and kids to go on a trip he couldn't attend as he was working.
Now she's booked the trip he's announced he's booked a trip to Dubai for himself at the same time she is away. ( when supposedly he couldn't travel as he was working )
Is none of that suspicious ?

I didnt miss that bit.

Which is why i said, it seems it's both of them.

I still dont see how you can complain about him not telling you his plans. When you were planning on changing all the plans and booking him a weekend away and talking the kids with him. And it appears the trip you were booking for him, might be to look after your brothers kids aswell? While he goes to a conference with you?

I can imagine the response of an op posted that her husband was taking their kids to visit his family. She managed to get some off and decided to go away separately. He has kicked off, because he was planning on going to a conference with his brother, while there, and so was booking her to come over for the weekend to look after the kids and his brothers kids. Without telling her.

It seems no one is communicating their plans with the other.