Why are men so grumpy

[peonyfairy03]

Just that really. DH is lovely helps with the house etc. I’ve been married before to a emotionally abusive man before so I know this isn’t that. It’s just sometimes I just find him incredibly grumpy. I try to see good in everything and be positive but he just sometimes likes to moan. So what do you do when they have one of these days.

I just ignore my dp when he has a grump on. Give him space, remote control etc... and I just have a bath/watch Netflix upstairs or go to the gym. It's generally because he's had a bad day at work, no point in pushing to talk it out (as he wouldn't until ready) and no point in pushing for him to cheer up as then it turns into a bigger thing than it is.

I don't know .
Did you know that only one out of seven dwarves is Happy?

My dp is literally never grumpy or sulky. I take on that role in our house!

Hard to say. Why are women so hysterical?

Unless.....hold on a minute....maybe....possibly.....that's just a ridiculous stereotype, and people are individuals?

Nah! Bonkers!

I think many men are taught to stuff their emotions down and never show them. Stands to reason that they come off as grumpy at times.

My exh was chronically miserable, it went beyond grumpy.... His dad used to hiss at him as a boy, whenever he smiled because it made him look weak / un masculine vile behaviour but my exfil went to a very abusive boys school where I assume he learned that the hard way.

My dp is a well known grump. He was a crier as a little boy and had it beaten out of him and is just recently, approaching mid life, starting to get back in touch with his feelings a little bit. It's very hard for him.

However of course #notallmen. I just do have a great deal of sympathy as a mum of DS for many men today. It's not easy for them when it comes to anything emotional and I'm not sure women are good at seeing that tbh. Sometimes "grumpy" is more acceptable than sad / confused / lonely / down / weepy / introverted / exhausted / touched out / etc.

DH is never grumpy. He’s more of a positive person.

Sorry didn’t mean to offend anyone. I think you are right that some
Men don’t know how to show emotion or talk about things. I do let DP have his time and he usually comes round.

I'm all for pointing out unfairness between the sexes, but I honestly have not found men to be generally any more grumpy than women.

Either I know lots of grumpy men or they ARE more grumpy than women. Most of the men I know - dh included - are very negative and quick to moan about everything. He admits he does it as well! I give up. I just switch off mentally and leave him to it.

Fairylea that is exactly what mine is like. Yeah I will leave him to it also. Didn’t mean to stereotype people just can’t get my head around why DP gets so grumpy at times

@cocomelon23 same here!

A lot of people are grumpy.
Men are allowed to show it.

Now smile, OP, it might never happen.

Now smile, OP, it might never happen

"Too late. It already has!" is the traditional response, I believe.

DP is never grumpy. He’s ALWAYS positive and optimistic. And whilst I love that about him and he’s always good at making me feel better when I’m feeling down...sometimes I just need a good ol’ moan and mope without someone constantly trying to make me see the positive.

...today is one of those days 😤

My experience of men is also grumpiness - I’m with you OP!

This is why I am remaining single.
I cannot be asked dealing with 'men'

Mine is a grumpy arse too, as are a lot of men I know. I come from a generation when boys and men were seen as special and were waited on hand and foot. Maybe they are grumpy because they are not special any more.

The real question is has he always been like this or is there a change ?

I had an ex who could get grumpy and sulky, there was no way I would have wanted a life with him.

DH is an optimist and not at all grumpy. His Dad was a grumpy sort though.

Mine is grumpy as hell and it's because he can't accept he's getting old. He's 80, and amazingly fit and active but of course he isn't as strong as he was 40 years ago. I encourage him to celebrate how fit he is - no medication, no medical problems, some arthritis but not debilitating. Many of our friends have chronic illnesses, some have cancer. Most people are amazed when they know how old he is.

He has always been a glass half empty person (I'm the opposite) and now it's more like "what bloody glass?"

I must say OP that in my experience excessively optimistic people are often insensitive to the feelings of others and can be incredibly shallow. They refuse to believe that people have problems, they brush off concerns and storm through life believing that others are too sensitive, need to lighten up and that the fault cannot possibly be theirs because light sunniness is all we need.

This is at the extreme end of the spectrum obviously but be aware OP that being relentlessly optimistic can be hurtful. He might be a grumpy bugger. On the other hand, he might have a lot to be grumpy about. Only you and he know this.