Is there anything he can do without taking it to court?

[Refreshretry]

I've been seeing someone for about 6 months, all going well.

We both have DC from previous relationships but my ex has virtually no contact with mine, pays no maintenance etc and is not really in the picture as he moved to a different town and started a new family. So I really don't have much experience with involved Dads and how to navigate it all.

Bf is the polar opposite. Very involved, sees dc several times a week, pays for half of everything and does everything he is supposed to do. He doesn't want to be an EOW or Disney dad. He wants to do the hard bits, the discipline, the school pick ups and drop offs, all of it. He is intentionally worse off financially because his job gives him the flexibility to spend time with dc.

The problem is that his ex is sometimes quite awkward about contact and it's really hurting him. I've seen it in person, the struggle he has to go through to contact her about when to pick up dc, the fact that she turns her phone off and refuses to communicate with bf, etc etc. He gets so upset when he isn't able to see dc and yet feels powerless to do anything about it because there is no court order or anything official in writing about contact.

Is there anything he can do to make her stick to contact arrangements without going to court? It's really nothing to do with me as such and I'm not going to get involved, I just want to help and advise so he can get a more fair arrangement set up that will benefit all of them, dc included. So far all I've been able to do is offer moral support and say that things will settle down and get back into a routine soon as the dc have just started school and it's a big adjustment for all of them but beyond that I have no idea what to say.

We have not met each other's dc by the way, too early for that.

@Refreshretry I don't have any experience of this personally but I don't think there is any way of enforcing regular contact without going through the courts unfortunately. What a horrible situation for your DP and his DC to be in.

It's unfortunate that his ExP is not playing ball but without legal intervention, I don't think there is much he can do. That said, hopefully someone else with more knowledge of this than me will get back to you shortly.

I really hope he manages to get it all sorted out as it must be heartbreaking for him x

I think a Separation Agreement will help here. It is not legally binding but you would definitely need some help from Lawyer or Family Law Professional who can help put it together. It lays out the schedule of pick ups and drop offs, holidays and child support (and bunch of other important stuff kids education, extra curricular expense, going away document, etc).

If that is in place, trust me life does get better especially when you have to deal with an Ex like that.

Not heard of a separation agreement, I will look into that and see if it might help! I don't know if it's relevant at all but bf and his ex weren't married or anything. He is on the birth certificate and dc has his surname though. Not sure if that makes any difference.

It is very sad for him and dc and honestly, it does make me a little jealous and hugely frustrated as I would love for my ex to care and be involved with his kids even half as much as bf does for his (*jealous that I don't have an ex like that, not jealous of the attention his gives his dc or anything!)

I am fully aware that I have not been in be picture that long though and have no idea what his ex is like as a person so I'm not trying to imply she is an evil bitch or vindictive. I just want for everyone to be amicable and for bf to have an active and equal role in his dc's life, which is ultimately best for everyone.

This website may help you:

childlawadvice.org.uk