What's so good about it all?

[BobbyDazzler99]

I really don't enjoy life. What is there to enjoy?

I'm a SAHM with 3 dcs.

My dcs are fine. I love them. Look after them. They are well nourished and loved. They can be challenging like all children but all manageable so far. Touches wood.

I've never had any formal training in any kind of career.

I have worked in a design agency as an account manager and I was just winging it.

I did some freelance work in that field too. That was okay. It fitted in well with dcs. That's dried up now.

I find no joy or pleasure or anything to look forward to.

I wish I could but I feel like life is so empty and because I'm nearly 50 and I'm such a loser who is incapable of doing anything beyond hoovering. What a loser and an embarrassment.

I don't want to volunteer or do anything like that.

I just wonder why I am not a success at all. Why I don't feel I am capable of going for anything.

I have two degrees, good A levels. But everyone else seems to have gone on to great things. Not me.

What is the point of my being here? I'm not any of real use making any difference to anyone really. I'm just consuming food and oxygen. Just being. Whatever for?

This isn't meant to be a pity party. I'm feeling quite cold and clinical about all this.

I can't be the only one.

Well that is great @Cath2907.

You have found great contentment. I think where you're at is where everybody aims to be.

@Justagoldfish I am a similar age to you and have been feeling pretty similar lately. I am not educated to masters level though, you should be so proud of that achievement. I found myself wondering how I could change my life recently, and realise that focusing on what you aren't/don't have is part of the problem social media doesn't help, especially when everyone seems to be living their most high definition life. It's never going provide a solution if you have already started with a minus in your mind. I have been isolating myself recently because I am too scared to reach out and trust anyone, which as you can imagine, does not improve my mood. Being a SAHM is the most important job in the world, granted it very rarely feels like it, but I promise you your children will notice if you were gone. I find myself wishing I would be more proactive with them, patient and fun but I know at the moment I am doing the best I can and considering how much life had battered me, I should be proud of how I have managed to carry on, and so should you. I am currently reading Good vibes, Good life by someone called vexking. It's been easy to read, and simplifies the thought processes that keep us down. I got it on amazon, so if you want, you may find it useful. I hope you find the strength to keep going because even feeling like crap is fleeting once you decide to start living again.