Hand hold & help needed!

[chilliricecracker]

Finally feeling like I have enough courage to leave but it's still really hard.
I'm staying away currently and the opportunity is perfect. He has this way of turning it around on me, making me feel guilty and I'm the bad one who has said all the hurtful things.
Truth is I'm tired of being on egg shells, of being snapped at and spoken to like rubbish.
Don't get me wrong, sometimes it's great but it has become sometimes.
Im not making much sense as it's the middle of the night.
Looking for some encouraging words!

He's just trying to wear you down @chilliricecracker and thinks you'll give in.

You won't, because you've already done the hardest bit.

Be prepared for him to escalate his behaviour, but you are strong enough to deal with it. Do you have good support around you?

You've got this.

Thank you @shrimpingviolet.

It really messes with my head! Luckily I have great support from friends and family and I've begun to open up a bit about how it really is which helps.

And being open and talking about things is the most important first step.

You deserve happines. When it gets hard as it inevitably will, think about the life you want a year from now to keep your resolve.

I recently read the "why does he do that" book. And I've read many posts on here for the last year or so.
Sometimes I think I'm expecting a fairytale because it's not THAT bad. I've never been physically abused.
It's just constant wearing down I guess. The whole world revolves around him. I've begun to look forward to Monday's when work starts again (who on earth looks forward to Monday's!).
I'm so mentally drained. We have a young baby and I already feel like a single parent but with another person to try and appease at the same time too.

Feeling worn down by him is not living a happy life, just imagine how peaceful it will be when it's just you and the baby, keep picturing a happy, peaceful scene with just you and your baby in it, then keep walking towards it and make it your reality.
Some good times do not make up for the crap, good luck.