Why are female friendships so hard

[Greymoon2016]

I'm terrifically bad at friendships it seems. I went back to group today after holidays and one of group I what's app most days I didn't spend time with as we speak alot so I caught up with others who I haven't seen or spoken too in like 7or 8 weeks. So when I get home I sent a message saying I realised I hadn't spent much time with said person sorry for that. I get a reply along the lines of well I did try to speak to you but you were more interested in everyone else! So I joke replied oh yes I'm very rude and a a hole which got back its okay.
Now help me out here I don't just stick to one group I like to have a little chat with everyone is this were I go wrong by not sticking to one set of people? I hate going to groups where everyone is within their own group and it's difficult to get anyone to speak so I don't do that.
Maybe this is why I'm Billy no mates as I don't stick to one or two people I'm a bit of a floater lol are female friendships always this hard

I will say I did talk to and spend some time with the person above I just didn't spend the whole session with them

Huh. I don’t think this is on you! That person sounds incredibly prickly and frankly odd, to respond in such a passive aggressive way to you messaging them! Your message was nice and a way of acknowledging you’d have liked more of their company but for whatever reason it didn’t happen. I can’t imagine getting shirty with a friend because I didn’t feel like they’d spoken to me ‘enough’ in a group situation.

They could easily have replied with ‘haha it’s okay, it was busy! Coffee soon?’ but they chose to act like this. Wouldn’t sweat this OP, leave her to it.

Well I do see your friends point. You speak to her more than the others except when there are others around who are more interesting. If you want friends you need to be one.

CCquavers that seems a bit black and white tbh. OP had other friends there too. You could equally say that OP isn’t being a good friend to the other mates she has in this group if she went and ignored them to spend the entire time with this specific friend. She’s said she spent some time with her, it sounds like it was pretty evenly balanced and she managed to chat to everyone which is what you do in a group situation. Her friend is being quite childish in a primary school playground way I think.

I went to my best friend’s daughter’s third birthday party this time last year, we live about sixty miles apart but I’d been visiting DH’s mum earlier that day too so it ended up being a hundred mile drive to the party then sixty back to my house in the middle. I think we managed to chat for about ten minutes over an hour, she was busy and had lots of other friends/family/school mums there. I didn’t get shitty with her as I don’t expect to be anyone’s centre of attention unless we are actually meeting up one on one with the express purpose of catching up.

Is there a bigger pattern or something for you OP with stuff like this happening?

Ccquaver the person was with her very good friend so wasn't left on her own but how do you navigate spending just enough time with everyone so no one feels left out? But on another note why do you have to stay attached at the hip to someone for them to not feel neglected?