We’ve been together 8 years, married 2 years. Bought a house together, have nice cars, have pets. Both working, him earning much more than me. Joint accounts so despite big pay difference both have same amount of individual money each month and then shared current and savings accounts. Saving well each month for future.
He’s great- very doting and supportive, all the family love him etc. Honestly other than the usual few things people do that piss you off hes great. Always told how lucky I am to have found him and how much he loves me.
Doing better than I could’ve imagined for our age etc. Know people look and think we have a super life. Both wanting to have children, know he’d be a super dad too.
But every time I get a minute to stop and think I just don’t feel it. Never said it out loud but last few months just feel like I want out. Think about living alone, just with my pets. Intimately not much going on- kiss goodbye/goodnight, I just don’t want to do anything more, we do 1-2 a month but never initiated by me or particularly wanted.
Feel like a truly horrible person, don’t understand how I feel this way, I should be happy, there is nothing wrong with my life. I know it’s not fair on him either long term, was just hoping it was a passing phase and I’d realise how lucky I am and be happy about it.
Life on my own I would be poorer, living in a much smaller place probably renting as earnings not great, on my own- nothing I’ve ever aspired to do but here I am googling smaller houses/flats to rent for example.
Fully expecting to be severely bashed on here but so many good people with actual shit going on in life. But I can’t tell anyone in real life that I’m feeling like this.
It’s just me having some kind of issue in my head right?! ☹️