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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

From Business Trip to Divorce

15 replies

CarmenHanson · 23/09/2019 15:06

Our family was on a tight budget, so my husband agreed on 6-month business trip. During that time I received less and less calls from him, and once he comeback he confessed that he had an affair. He refusing to talk about reasons for divorce, everything is happend so fast I'm just shocked. He wants me to sign divorce papers as soon as possible, but I'm so stressed about it that I need some time to consider everything that happened. Can i avoid signing the divorce papers somehow? I know that I have 30 days to sign it by the law, but I'm not sure what I have to do in this situation...

OP posts:
PicsInRed · 23/09/2019 15:14

What? Don't sign anything!

Go and see a good divorce solicitor!

Stop taking legal advice from your lying, cheating, soon to be ex husband.

FreshwaterBay · 23/09/2019 15:15

I cannot really help you from a legal point of view, but just to say I am sorry this is happening to you and your family (children?). My friend's father did this when he was 8. Concentrate on your children and your own life as quickly as you are able to and do not make compromises on anything. With a fair wind, he may not be so vigilant about his financial position if he is in the world of rose-tinted pictures.

AnyFucker · 23/09/2019 15:16

Get yourself down to a family law solicitor pronto

Ypu don't have to anything your cheating fucker of a "husband" tells you to

Dry your tears and get savvy. He is waaaay ahead of you.

redastherose · 23/09/2019 15:20

You need to get independent legal advice. Please go and see a solicitor specialising in divorce and find out what your best course of action is.

TheStuffedPenguin · 23/09/2019 15:25

He will NEED to talk about divorce reasons - what is he going to put on his application ? His own adultery or is he going to state you have been behaving unreasonably?

Bibidy · 23/09/2019 15:44

I don't think you actually have to sign divorce papers if you don't want to divorce (in the UK).

I wouldn't advocate refusing as it will escalate any tensions massively and why would you want to stay married to someone who wants to divorce you, but technically if you don't sign he can't divorce you without your permission until you've been separated for 5 years.

JustmeandtheKIDS2 · 23/09/2019 16:26

30 days?? You normally sort out the finances and child visitation and then the actual divorce is final, mine took over 2 years.

Original poster
CarmenHanson · 23/09/2019 16:30

Thank you all for your kind responses!To be honest I was
dumbfounded when received divorce papers, so I couldn't think clearly. All divorce forms in copy of documents that I received are already filled by company onlinedivorcer.com, apparently he asked to fill all divorce papers like it's a mutual agreement. Seems like that was the reason of such a rush.Thanks everybody for your support! I'll seek for legal aid in my local town, and won't be signing anything without consulting with attorney first.

OP posts:
Goatrider · 23/09/2019 16:30

Have you actually been sent the divorce application from the courts?

If so, on what grounds is he divorcing you?

Original poster
CarmenHanson · 23/09/2019 16:35

It was a petition for divorce on mutual agreement, he written that we lived separately for a year and was asking for a divorce by mutual consent.

OP posts:
Theredjellybean · 23/09/2019 16:37

OP are you in the UK?

FreshwaterBay · 23/09/2019 16:37

You need to maximise the story behind the tight budget and play it to your advantage. You and your children (?) need a home. If he has been playing away in Dubai or wherever, that's bad conduct. I said in my earlier post I cannot help you from a legal position, but that is because I am not a practising solicitor. From a practical view, you need to get the financial side settled as quickly as you can as it is likely to be in your favour. Time is of the essence and procastination is your foe. Getting settled financially will give you a better foundation to start afresh, which I sense is something you are not against. Get this chapter over first.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 23/09/2019 16:41

Tell him he seems to have had a year to think about this. You will not be rushed, he will have to wait whilst you think it through, get legal advice and all the other support he had the opportunity to access during his time away!

The more he pushes the longer he will have to wait as you will have to assume he is hiding something. He has to back off, stop rushing you!

supersop60 · 23/09/2019 17:08

So sorry this has happened.
Professional, legal advice before you sign ANYTHING.

pog100 · 23/09/2019 17:16

I don't think the op can be in the UK? It's two years minimum for mutual consent isn't it.
Either way, you NEED outside legal advice. Do not sign anything without it.

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