I would not say that my parents are bad people but my gosh they can make quite personal/rude comments and put downs about others behind their backs. The funny thing is it’s not strangers they are rude about but my siblings / people they know well. When talking about my siblings or others that perhaps do things differently to them they are often quick to talk about them in a negative way. For example, ‘she is such a perfectionist’, ‘she was always selfish’. Like some may look for the positive in people it’s like they go out of their way to point out negatives. It’s hard to have a normal conversation about someone’s issues with something as they just seem to want to make put downs which I find hard to deal with as it’s often about close family who I love. I get that they may disagree with some of their ‘loved’ ones choices but personally I would not like to speak about my children or siblings in the way that they sometimes do... I just don’t get it!!
I don’t think they have been great grandparents to my oldest sisters kids and they often remark of my in-laws how they seem too over involved in their grandkids lives... what they see as this I see as just taking an interest and wanting to spend time with their grandchildren- I feel disappointed in them for their views and it’s sometimes horrible to be around! It would be nice to talk about people with them (well certain people) without the put downs - I probably should have learnt my lesson by now and not talk to them about people but I guess I’m still wanting to connect with them somehow and obviously talking about close family is how I Try to do it.