What do you do with photos/letters from your ex?

[blubberball]

So a bit of background. I separated from my dh last year after 15 years. He was controlling, abusive and unsupportive. He was with a new gf within days, so I knew that I'd done the right thing. When the time came, I knew to put all the photographs/wedding bits and bobs in a box. I did this for our dc, in case they ever wanted to see their parent's wedding and stuff.

I started a new relationship all too quickly when a friend told me he wanted me. I was stupid and vulnerable, and I thought that he was good for me. But over time I realised that he was emotionally manipulative in different ways. Often threatening suicide if he didn't see me. We were together around 9 months. I'm now not sure what to do with the photos and letters? It was only my 2nd ever relationship. Is it good to keep things, or to get rid? I'm guessing the latter, but I wanted to hear others thoughts, feelings and experiences. Thanks.

I kept any photos of ex and DD, as I'm sure she would like to see them when shes older, but any of just us went in the bin/got deleted.
I didn't have any letters but if I did they would have been in the bin too.

Sorry, I didn't read the question properly, still half asleep! You did right keeping your children's father's photos but I wouldn't be keeping anything of a shitty went nowhere relationship if we had no children, it's just a reminder you don't need. Have a fire and say good riddance to the idiot!

Thanks 🤗

I'm not discarding the pictures of my h, it's my own history but deleted short relationships since he left me, actually I avoid photos now

I always keep photos - it’s part of your history and they’re not too bulky to store. The letters? Probably not.

I keep letters and cards etc from exes. I imagine they'll amuse me in my dotage, and they are part of my history. Absolutely no unfinished business involved.
However I did get rid of stuff from a very unpleasant ex as it upset me. So my advice would be to trust your gut on this one, there's no right or wrong answer

I got rid of some photos and presents from an ex. They made me sad to look at them but 20 years on from the split I wished I kept them.

I keep everything like that. I have a vision of myself when I'm about 70, retired and with lots of time, looking through them to relive the days of my youth.

I shred anything that has bad memories/bad people.
It is a great relief, I’ve no intention on looking back when I’m older at bad times. Keep the good memories, life is too short for the bad.

Obvs with kids - keep anything relative to them, seal the box, put it away until (if) they ask.

I've kept everything! Only because they're a part of me and my past, these people shaped me in a way. My ex husband was my first boyfriend, my best friend and eventually the father of my children. I was with him from 14- 36 and ige never erased anything. Not because theres any feelings there but he was a huge part of my life. Short relationships since I've also still got but I never look at them!

I binned the lot. Very bloody therapeutic actually

I burned the letters and cards from my ex by the side of the river. But I am quite melodramatic like that.

I've binned everything - I firmly believe that when you're holding onto things from the past, your future won't be exactly what you want. Just my personal opinion though.
Plus it was very therapeutic!

I boxed and sealed away. It was still a chunk of my life. Maybe I’ll throw them away one day.

I’m not sure I’ve ever gotten rid of photos or letters from exes in my past (these were before I met my dh so 12+ years ago). They were part of my growing up. I don’t think I’d hesitate to bin stuff from some random guy now though.

I'm going through a divorce. I had kept every card he ever bought me. I've binned them all plus a few letters from the early days. Photos of just us/him have been put in a separate album in case the DCs want to see them. I no longer wear any jewellery he bought me and little keep sake type presents have gone. Once the relationship is done then I want to move on. Not live with half his memories around me.

I burned the lot within 5 minutes of him dumping me. Seriously! No children involved and he was not in the country and dumped me by (Pre mobiles.) I sat in ten kitchen and saw his photos everywhere and dumped them all in the aga.

By the time a friend who was staying with me came in from a walk I had cleared the place of all paperwork mentioning him.

Knee jerk reaction? Probably! But it meant I never had a reminder.

I've been clearing the attic today and found some cards and poems from DH who I split from 18 years ago. I feel quite unsettled by them and wish I hadn't kept them. But I still can't quite bring myself to chuck them, because not only did they feel significant then, the act of keeping them all this time has made them feel more significant. (They're not!)

I'd agree with trusting your gut. If they make you feel miserable or stressed now, they probably always will. I have one photo from my wedding to xh which I do like and which captures a moment - keeping that isn't a problem.

I'm an old sentimental hoarder, so I have kept stuff from the abusive ex. Not all of it though, like I did with other exes - I seriously have boxes full of stuff in my loft.

I always take all the stuff, at the end of the relationship, and pack it away and don't look for about 10 years or more.

With the ex abuser, I kept coming across stuff after I'd done the boxing, and that stuff I threw out. I'd have made the effort to put it in the box for anyone else.

My advice would be to stick it in a box and forget it. One day, when he means nothing to you any more, you will know if you want to keep the stuff, or ditch it.

Are they worth selling on E-Bay?

I kept everything I could of my late much loved DH. He died nearly 28 years ago, but his jackets still hang in my wardrobe, and I have all his letters, cards and photos, even his old exam certificates and baby photos.
I think it’s different though with a short rebound relationship that you regret having - I’d bin or burn all that, I think it would be cathartic.