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Did you ever meet again?

12 replies

donutsatnight · 22/09/2019 06:18

Just wondering if anyone has ever ended a relationship and then gotten back together months or years after?

I was in a LDR for almost a year and just recently my ex ended it over the distance which he always assured me was not a problem at all and having a million conversations about how we'd make it work.

He claims it's the distance and his work; it's very unpredictable and he gets moved around the country he lives in on very short notice so that would've eventually gotten in the way of seeing each other. He assured me it's not me (of course it's me) and keeps saying it's just that and that if I lived closer it would've probably been different.

There is a possibility to me moving to his country (not related to him) within the next year or so. This is something that I had already thought about as it's for my education.

Our last conversation I said I wish we could meet again one day under different circumstances and he said he wished the same and was sorry it didn't go the way it should have.

So I'm just wondering, I know it's stupid and I'm meant to move on and what not but have any of you ever been in a similar situation? Or just been able to rekindle something years later? Official break up was about 5 months ago and we are both mid 20s if that matters.

I just honestly really pictured my life with him, I've tried dating and seeing other people but even after a few months I keep comparing them to him and just never go on the second date. I miss him all the time and he says he does too (yes if he truly loved me he'd come back, I know) but then again I'm wondering if maybe everything he said actually is true. He struggles a lot with anxiety, depression and just mental health in general; he never got nasty over the break up and has been very supportive of how difficult it has been for me

OP posts:
nrpmum · 22/09/2019 06:28

My husband and I dated for 3 years in my late teens/early twenties. This is before mobile phones. We went our separate ways for work, etc and both carried on with our lives.

Twenty three years later we reconnected, and we got married a year ago and are blissfully happy.

Shebertherbert · 22/09/2019 09:17

I pray I never see any of my ex's ever again.

666onmyhead · 22/09/2019 09:20

True love will always find a way. (Just don't turn into a Stalker ! )

eladen · 22/09/2019 09:28

I'm not surprised you're struggling to move on when you're still having all these totally inappropriate conversations with him. Why are you doing that to yourself?

Our last conversation I said I wish we could meet again one day under different circumstances and he said he wished the same and was sorry it didn't go the way it should have.

You do realise -just like the other examples in your op where you have acknowledged this yourself - this is just something people say to avoid confrontation and awkwardness. They don't mean it.

And frankly if you keep dragging up this conversations with him, you are just going to get whatever pacifying response he thinks will stop you getting worked up.

For your own well-being I really think you need to break contact with him. It's stopping you from living the life you have right now because you're clinging on to a fantasy life by talking to him.

The only thing that is real is what is happening right now. He doesn't want to be with you. But you still have a life you can live.

None of us knows how long we have. Don't waste what is real right now lost in fantasies.

SimonJT · 22/09/2019 09:33

An ex and I dated for just over two years, we didn’t actually want to split but I had to take on my sisters son which didn’t fit with his career, and I wouldn’t have let him give it up or limit. We don’t get back together as such, but we go to a fwb arrangement when we’re both single.

Marlena1 · 22/09/2019 09:38

I think you would need to have a frank conversation with him about what he wants. If you are moving for him, you need to know if his heart is in it. Unfortunately some people like to let people down gently. While this is nice it can waste years of the other person's life thinking they will get back together. You need to know one way or another so you can both give it ago or walk away and move on.

RLEOM · 22/09/2019 10:39

My mum and dad split up for a year when they were in their 20's and got back together. They remained together for another 30 years until my mum passed away.

ChristmasFluff · 22/09/2019 20:32

Very similar situation to you at the same time of life (slightly younger). We did get back together - and it didn't work. We were done in 6 months.

20 years later, we got back in touch. He actually tried it on again - but this time I knew well enough to knock him back!

Geog1985 · 22/09/2019 21:03

Yes. Four years completely NCed after I’d walked the first time. Then I was with a new bf when he contacted me again. I thought he’d changed, he hadn’t. 8 months I’ll never get back again.

My advice, don’t romanticise this, it’s not love, it’s real life and someone that thinks you’re the one will move heaven and earth to be with you.

I’m currently with that person. My ex would only do that for himself. Grin

shreddednips · 22/09/2019 21:08

I had a boyfriend when I was 18, we were together for a couple of years and then I broke up with him. He moved to another country and I regretted my decision for a long time.
We got back in contact after a few years and we're talking every day on Skype. It felt like it was meant to be. He came back to the UK (not specifically for me, I don't think anyway...) and we met up. Expectations were high. Anyway, when we met in person neither of us felt the same way any more, even though we thought we would. Our lives had taken us in different directions and we weren't the same people any more. He was still a great, fun person, but not the one for me any more. Thank god the feeling was mutual.
Now I have him as a lovely friend, but wish I hadn't wasted all that time pining away. Move on with your life OP, sure maybe you will get together at some point in the future but don't count on it and waste new opportunities. In any case, it's definitely not the right thing at this moment in time or you would have stayed together despite the distance.

shreddednips · 22/09/2019 21:10

Were, not we're! We are not talking on skype any more!

churchgate · 22/09/2019 21:16

I'm in this situation now. Together for 10 years one DS. Apart for 7 years I had another two DC. We're both single now and he's told me he's still in love with me, it's always been me blah blah and I don't know what to do. He amazing with all the children, they all love him. I love him too but I just haven't looked at him in that way in a long time and I just don't know what to do.

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