Been with stbxh for 11 years, married for 8. 2 kids, 7 and 4. He's a classic narcissist, emotionally abusive, passive aggressive joy sucker and I tried to leave 2 years ago when he sulked over the fact I was supporting a friend who's child had died. For many reasons, we tried again but he's now decided I'm the horrible one and he's leaving me (fcking hurrah!) Unfortunately we are going to be stuck under the same roof for the forseeable - I've told him he can hate me all he likes but he must be civil and polite in our interactions if he isn't going to leave. I'm just so damn sad though - for all the time that's been wasted, the years I've gone devoid of any emotional support or physical affection, not being able to speak to the person I'm meant to be closest to, for not leaving when I wanted to (he called me an evil fcking bitch for thinking about it) , for the kids, so many things....I keep crying! If anyone can help with books/blogs/suggestions to help it would be appreciated. I can already identify anxiety from having had to live with a man like that for so long, I don't want to come out of this unwell