AIBU to get annoyed?

[Meeeh]

Context: in loving relationship with bf for two years, live apart for family reasons. We are middle aged.
Bf lives in community he grew up in and everybody knows everybody. All his close friends and I get along and I see them for bdays and parties etc.
We do not put our lives on social media due to crazy ex husband and teenage kids with issues.
As a result some people don’t know we are in a relationship (I did another post about this).
Repeatedly, women he knows, for example from school many years ago or down the pub, but are not close friends with now, approach him. For example: he went to a recent party and a woman was part of his otherwise normal group for part of the evening. Since then, she is repeatedly making gushing remarks on anything he puts on social media. She made one along the lines of “I’ll make you a cup of tea to go with that biscuit” when he posted a pic of a biscuit (edited actual conversation for privacy) but they don’t know each other on a biscuit and tea level.

AIBU to get jealous/annoyed/etc and wondering if he’s projecting a single vibe when I’m not around? Or are there just a lot of desperate 40+ single women around prowling for a mate?

Grip needed.

@jumpyliz thank you for your comprehensive reply

YW

Or are there just a lot of desperate 40+ single women around prowling for a mate? This is batshit and beneath you as a woman. You sound like you’re getting the hump with her because he hasn’t responded to her the way you’d want him to. If she doesn’t know you exist, she’s done nothing wrong.

Also, it doesn’t matter if she’s offering him tea, or inviting him round for a bunk up and a bacon sandwich. The only thing that matters is how he responds. If you want him to tell her he’s in a relationship then do the grown up woman thing and talk to him.

don’t know each other on a biscuit and tea level

I usual like it when people fancy my DP - it kind of makes me proud

He didn’t reply to her message at all.

@Sn0tnose I did raise it with him and told him it is frustrating and he said he doesn’t carry a sign saying he’s with me. This is a fair point as when I got out I obviously also speak to men but the difference here is maybe that I’m not friends with them on social media so none of them start offering tea.

A biscuit and tea level 🤣🤣🤣

If you feel he's not trustworthy around other women, you either need to think about the state of your relationship or how low your own self esteem is.

It shouldn't matter, if he loves you. If he loves you, it wouldnt matter how many women threw themselves at him naked... he would still choose you.

So he does exactly the same as you do on a night out (speaks to opposite sex, friendly and polite) and he hasn’t responded to her tea invite. So what exactly is it that you’re upset about? Is the tea thing reeeally bothering you? Or is it that you want more of a public commitment from him?

@Sn0tnose he’s a people pleaser but I do trust him. The annoyance is probably that I myself make it clear when out and about that I’m not “boiling the kettle” and maybe I feel like he’s so private that he does not or that because people have known him for years think he’s still the lad he was in school (and they definitely know he’s divorced) so think there’s potential.

OP, just because you don't put things on SM doesn't mean your relationship needs to be secret. If that woman was flirty with your OH on SM, then I would assume she had been flirty with him in real life. He doesn't need a sign to indicate that he's with you, a casual reference to what you two are doing the weekend, for example, in reaction to her flirting, should suffice. Does he do that?

@Andylion I don’t know as I’m not there. He has in the past told me when someone has outright made a play and I do as well if it has happened when I’m out with my gfs.

Oh grow up, seriously