Still single at 30

[jones4921]

As it says in the title. Still single at 30. Never had a proper relationship. I think I put it down to insecurity around my appearance and body. I've tried online dating before with limited success. I'm starting to feel lonely now friends are settling down and having children. I think I know the answer is probably to get back on online dating I push through the awkwardness and lack of confidence, but it's daunting. And I have this niggling doubt in my mind that really, no one wants to be with me.

Wondered if anyone had felt like this before and got through it? I don't want to be alone forever!

Hi,
I felt like that. I actually met DH a few months before I turned 30 but I spent my twenties as you've described.
Honestly, I wouldn;t go into OLD right now. Give yourself a year to learn how to feel happy in yourself and by yourself. How do you want to feel about your body? What would make you feel confident? if it were strong? Muscly? Lean? Graceful? Faster? What could you sign up for that would help it be more what you want it to be? Weight training, power yoga, running, spinning, martial arts?
How about yourself as a person? Would you consider reading some self-help books on how to work on your life and feel better? I found Feel the Fear really useful in my twenties. Old-fashioned now but a classic and still valuable at helping people discover vaue and purpose in life without the need for a relationship. And you can google books on positive solitude or ending loneliness and browse some to see if any of them feel right to you.
The truth is that happy, fulfilled, confident people are more attractive, so working at becoming that will make you feel better whether or not you attract a new person into your life, whilst also raising your chances of getting attention.
And maybe OLD isn't for you anyway. Would you be better off taking up some sport or hobby that you really enjoy where you might meet some single men? Anything from choirs and amateur dramatics to surfing or climbing. That way, you meet people with a common interest and you already have an activity to focus on, instead of making small talk over a drink which is such a deathly way of trying to get to know who someone is.

Thank you @milliefiori. I think you probably are right about avoiding OLD. The things re my appearance and body are not things I can change through lifestyle unfortunately. But I do think I need to love myself a bit more and accept myself. Joining l/doing activities where I might need someone is a good idea, I'm going to have a think about what.

People who obsess about not being good enough don't get dates.
I have known the ugliest fattest women with total self confidence have incredible success with men and naturally myself. Being asexual I go around showing absolutely no interest in them which they seem to find irresistible. It's incredibly annoying.
The series women I know are self assured women. You need to work on that. Pretend confidence even if you don't feel it.