Should I be concerned?

[LighteningRidge]

DP has deleted all message history with his ex in case I go through them and read too much into the content. I said worded like that it sounds incriminating. He then told me that his conscience is clear and therefore he won't discuss it with me.

In fairness to him I don't think he is cheating on me and he knows I have an issue with the ex - which I have worked on and mainly deal with internally. But this has got me wondering if there is more to this?

What would you think? And what would you do next, if anything? He has always said I'm welcome to read the messages and now this....... (I don't read them btw!)

Given that he knows you have an issue with her, I can understand his actions. He doesn't want to add fuel to a non existent fire.

My partner felt he had to tell me he still puts kisses on messages to tge ex, because he always did and stopping it would get her back up. It's no problem to me, but I can see why he would be worried, some people (including his ex) can read a great deal into nothing at all.

Is he still in contact with his ex?

That does make sense. I think maybe I am reading too much into the fact before it hasn't been an issue and it is now he has decided to get rid of them. Ah well, just confirms that he is right about me being ultra sensitive. I need to get a grip!

Yes. They have children and of course will be in contact. It is the deletion that threw me. But I see it is my issue not his. I'm actually not over bothered but I was just thinking should I be? But I don't think I should be so I'll put it back in its box.

My cynical side says that if he truly had nothing to hide he's not bother to delete.

Ha! That was my thought too. But obviously this is my problem

My exh did this. When previously I had read how he agreed with every demand she made regarding their dc. Buy this get that pay for this. Usually her haircuts - the ex not the dc. He deleted them after that.
Did his head in he said! One word texts shut her up eventually!
Deletion not necessaril = guilt.

I’ve never deleted any messages with ex - my communication with him civil and DP could read them at any time if he wished - (sometimes show him how ridiculous ex is) I would think there was something to hide too OP

It's a difficult one. My go-to reaction with this is usually, if it's innocent then you wouldn't need to delete, but if you've been a bit of a pain to him about his ex, then I can see why he might think this is the way forward. Man logic at its finest! Perhaps ask him to learn to trust YOU in that you won't over react if they communicate. Ask him to help you get over your fears by not hiding things. He's entitled to his privacy and shouldn't have to show you the entire contents of his phone, but equally if he's serious about wanting to prove there's nothing in it then he'll keep all messages on there from now on.

I don't ask to use his phone or look at messages. I only found out because I had messaged a document to him which I needed to send an email for him. Her number was above mine but there was no text.

I suppose it doesn't really matter. I'll never know what they said. He is entitled to his privacy. It's the fact he deleted them because he knew I needed to send that email. It's just odd.

Also I know I'm a pain about ex (I have reasons). I just have to get over it really and move on.