When to call it a day?

[rosyedith]

Looking for advice..

My LO is 2 months old. Since we've had him I feel like my partner just does nothing to help me. He works full time but at weekends he's not willing to do a night feed to help me out, don't think he even knows how to sterilise a bottle. Doesn't know how to fit the car seat in the car & is not even willing to learn how. Will only change a nappy if I ask him to. Am I asking for too much here? I'm starting to get snappy & fed up of him & it's obvious we're both unhappy. When I think of the future I just can't see us being together as we've both changed & our love for each other is hanging on by a thread. When my LO was 6 weeks he booked a lads holiday which is where my anger towards him stemmed from. Is that acceptable? I feel like if I go out anywhere I have to ask him to 'babysit' but he goes off gallivanting whenever he feels like it. He's not all bad though and I am no angel myself. I can be moody but am I just moody because I am unhappy? Just feel like we've outgrown each other? But do we work on it for the sake of the baby or call it a day now while he is young and won't know any different. Also I wonder if we did split up how my partner would cope with the baby on his own which is worrying.

Have you been honest and told him exactly how you feel?

You need to tell him how you feel. It doesn’t look good though, he sounds like he’s checked out of the relationship already

I'm so very sick of hearing about men like this.
Tell him straight you expect him to parent his own child, he is not a single bloke and if he doesn't pull his finger out then you are leaving him and mean it.
I don't think there is any possibility of him having the baby on his own post divorce, it sounds as if he would run a mile.
Honestly todays blokes are dinsosaurs, worse then their fathers and grandfathers.

He sounds pathetic. No wonder you are ‘moody’ - does he call it that? Sounds more like ‘exhausted’ ‘unsupported’ and ‘living with an adult baby’
This won’t improve without a very frank chat and clear ultimatums from you.

Yes I have. He says I nag all the time and he can't do right for doing wrong. Just for example- last night I did all the night feeds, this morning it would have been nice for him to do the 8.30 feed and take the baby towards so I could have a lie in. But no he's the one snoring still while I clean shitty nappies downstairs!! Am I being unreasonable??? Really can't be bothered anymore

@fernandoanddenise yesterday we argued because I was being 'moody'. I explained to him I'd had no sleep and he said 'well don't take it out on me'

Too often you hear of this shit. Tell the loser to fuck off. Get rid of him. You do everything yrself anyway. At least you won't have the mental load of him to deal with.
You should be a partnership. This is not.

@crystalize your right. I feel like a single parent.

I experienced this many years ago. Give him an ultimatum. If he sees sense, great. I doubt it though sounds like a selfish asshole.
I look back and am pleased I brought up my son by myself... even the ex eventually shaped up for weekend visits.

Thing is I know he has the potential to be a great dad. I am shocked by his behaviour as I expected him to be really hands on.

Where has he learned that this is ok? What’s his dad like? Or mates? Can any of them help him get his head around being a supportive partner? If not personally I’d consider asking him to leave - even if just temporarily - and get some other support for you if possible. He’ll either be remorseful and change or relieved and fuck off. Either way you will have an answer.